Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. Europe, speak? Bantustan in all its glory!


Greetings to you, my dear and loyal readers! Well, that ended our football passion. And near football too. Already removed all the crap that the fans left after a stormy night of celebrating the victory and commemorating the defeat of their favorite teams. Trinity now in the yard.

Honestly, there was some jim-jams that the type smash. In particular these, horned from England. But the cost, by the way. Everything is whole, well, and the dirt and debris ... Although to be honest, for six months of that Maidan bomzhatnik did not make a mess of the city so much as this time. But more about that later, but for now ...

Already, thousands of policemen, national guardsmen, and other near-am-vest people took off their uniforms and are happy to sleep at home now. Why? Deserved. In principle, the riots were not allowed.

But instead of dreaming, I decided to share with you impressions that had not cooled down so far and to crush some of your stereotypes. For example, the view that the Ukrainians in the Champions League final earned. I tell you: I lost almost 1000 hryvnias in the final. True, the final itself did not go ...

I do not know about you, but for me, for some reason, most of the memorable events for a long time begin with the thought “I wish I didn’t go there!”

But in order ...

I walked, it means on Khreshchatyk. As a sailor Zheleznyak from a revolutionary song was walking. In the fan zone was going. Fans of import to see, own face face show, English recall. In short, feel ...

Remember how did Zheleznyak do it? “He went to Odessa, and went out to Kherson ...” Ours probably was. From Cockroaches. I also went to the fan-zone, and went to the festival of craft breweries ... Such frills of Kiev geography happen. Abnormal.

I paid 150 hryvnia, got my six chips and went to try ... And to try it, beer, is it? Forgive him if you drink it, drink it, but trying is like that ... Communion of the bug. And if with a shish kebab ...

I have not squandered the first 600 hryvnia, managed to take something off for you. Then get me ... Standing in line at the toilet. Something to the Qian and the guests of the capital really missed this very festival of our toilets.

So I went to check what was so new about the Champions League final. I answer: nothing. You can not look in the internet mod Kiev dry closets.

By the way, in my own way I will share with you one purely Ukrainian secret of how to buy beer correctly. And then you are still probably Soviet: "Demand topping up beer after a draft of foam!" Not tseevropeytsy you and not Ukrainians especially! Learn and try to apply. Success is guaranteed.

Ask the seller with a bored look a couple of mugs of beer. Be sure to ask about the quality and good taste of a frazochka. And at the end of the phrase, add that if the beer is good, you will call a dozen of your friends who are trying the beer at the next point. Circles will be poured on the very edges ...

Yes, the same tactic is perfect when buying barbecue. Like, do you mind if I like the kebab, that we will come with our comrades, 20 man, to celebrate with you? The portion will be elephant ... In the sense, as for an elephant in meat equivalent, and not from an elephant. As you can see in the photo, we are still normal with pigs.

In general, I came to Khreshchatyk a little ... tired and with a full belly of products. He moved according to the rules received once from a familiar military pilot. Those in aviation understands, he can skip further. For land and water, I will explain. The main rule of the pilot in the war is "Everyone around wants to bring you down!" Do you want to survive, then either dodge or hit yourself ...

But around were the same "pilots". By the way, I’ll break another fan myth from there. Normal men. And ladies. And they understand the principle of "beer without vodka - money down the drain." Only dead. I mean, anyway, their money goes to 50% to the wind. With beer still somehow cope. But with vodka. For some reason, the little things are respected 250-gram ...

I kept looking out for the English to fight. Well, at least pobuzyat to maintain the image. And you know, found. Almost found. On the pedestal of the former "Leninist" monument, someone was waving something and yelled very loudly and invitingly. Well, I rushed there, I think, “we call them!”

Dreaming ... He came closer ... Fie on you. Our Poles in the sense. Your World Cup boycott. Why the Russian World Cup in Ukraine should be boycotted is another question. And shavers and other amigos look at them like idiots and drink beer ... One Spaniard in Spanish asked me something. In, damn it, my physiognomy. The Spaniards for their take. Then I realized that I was an aborigine and asked in English. Like, what kind of assholes? Explained to him ...

I even wrote down that he answered in Spanish. Only without laughter. From dictation wrote. Maybe someone will translate from Spanish, Russian letters transmitted Ukrainian. Something he said ... "Boboso. Kabron." And I especially liked about the face: "Cabesa de Mierd". Although I suspect that the Spaniards are brothers to us too. At least one of his expression, I accurately understood. Well, half. "Besa Mikulo". I don’t know who was called Mikola there, maybe a friend of what the Spaniard was in a crowd, or maybe a celebrity tusila. And there were plenty of demons in their heads.

By the way, they are talking about barriers to terrorists in Europe ... What is it? Is that how it is?

No, it is clear that such trifles are not dragged away from the ATO zone, but surprisingly for Europe.

I will finish the same, than began. Costly Outbursts suffered from us. Tickets were for a match on 1000 — 1500 euros at outbids. But due to the big rush before the match, it was already possible to buy euros for 300. The market has adjusted.

But even before the start of the final of the Champions League were provocations from our side. Alas, but we have to admit, from our, Ukrainian side. I'm not even talking about Dynamo fans who provoked Liverpool fans to fight. The British did not succumb to provocation.

But about the attack in the restaurant will tell. The fans sat, judging by the age of the victims, in a restaurant. Had dinner. Not fans, I stress, quite respectable people under and for 50. And suddenly our masked assholes rush in. 20 young bugs. And they begin to destroy the restaurant and the heads of the British. Detained two ...

"Two were detained, delivered to the district administration, these are citizens of Ukraine ... 1997, born in Kiev, students of one of Kiev's universities, refused to give explanations."

Further I will not write. "Onizhedetey" released. True, the English consul was informed that they would carry out pre-investigation actions on the article 296 part 2 (hooliganism). But I have only one question. And what, the Russian passports in Ukraine have already ended?

Why fuss when the scheme has long been worked out? This is only in the zoo in animals with the establishment of offspring problems due to a curious giraffe. We got used to it already. We are not afraid of a giraffe ...

Some readers know from various media reports about the beating of a military retiree by "persons of Caucasian nationality" in the city market near the Lesnaya metro station. For those who do not know, I will tell in brief. The grandfather made a remark to the merchants for something there and immediately received a blow in the face. And the daughter of this grandfather posted this entry in the network.

And now the sequel. On Sunday morning, a group of unidentified men defeated the stalls of Caucasian merchants in the market near Lesnaya. Waited for this sortie. And Caucasians and emvedashniki. Therefore, they met "unknown" from C14 with tear gas and batons. In response, naturally, the radicals used weapon proletariat - stones.

Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. Europe, speak? Bantustan in all its glory!

Once again confirmed the old truth. You own the information - you own the situation. The police caught a dozen militants. And then something happened ... strange. And "onizhedeti" quite by chance there appeared. They meat and tsybulu for kebab buy came!

So C14 executives stated. In short, it turns out that policemen innocent sheep were arrested. Arbitrariness !!! "Now investigators are studying video surveillance recordings, including those that are posted on the Internet, so they will be given legal qualifications for the actions of each person brought to the station."

Something I'm serious and serious about. Joke, perhaps, to tell? Or profit. Well, let it be a joke. “After the Champions League final in Kiev, a foreign fan disappeared. There are no documents, there is no money, a foreigner pretends to be himself.“ Well, certainly a deviation, ”the military commissar thought.”

Do you know why I told this joke? It is clear that the reason was. Even a few reasons. Remember the incomprehensible seizures of the Armed Forces of Ukraine obviously bad positions in the Donbass? When are soldiers and officers eager to be targeted by Republicans? Type Chigire these? If I'm not mistaken in the title. Or the logic of the military commissar from a joke.

And the reason is known. "Militiamen identified a military group in the Kharkiv region, which for two years distributed drugs and psychotropic substances among cadets of one of the military universities of Kharkov. This was reported on Tuesday, 22 in May, the press service of the Kharkiv region reports."

“A pre-trial investigation revealed that the detainees acquired psychotropic substances and narcotic drugs using Internet resources, packed up and sold them to the buyers later. During the operational activities, the police documented the criminal activities of the attackers.”

I once loved classical music very much. Until Maidan. And then fell out of love. There is about the same thing that happened in the army. Only noticeable. Conductor periodically began to use. And you know, listening to Mozart in a remix somehow got sick. Now the president’s speech in the remix is ​​not appealing.

Yes, as here at the muzhik has painted, it is time to reflect, where you will be issued after ...

And judging by the message of counterintelligence from Kharkov, soon and news from the speakers of the Armed Forces of Ukraine and other security agencies will also be in a remix. Imagine how now the opposite side feels. Probably about the same as the parents of children from kindergarten in the Dnieper.

You have not heard about this. And we have a kindergarten terrorists captured 23 May! In the river. Horror. Shooting. Children roar inside the kindergarten. Educators run around like kids around kids. Grenade explosions. Smoke bombs. Armored personnel carriers. Parents graying before their eyes and beaten when they try to break into the kindergarten to their beloved children ...

But everything worked out. Courageous policemen, risking their own lives, took the children under heavy fire of terrorists and grenade explosions. Doctors provided assistance. Psychologists reassured ...

Represent the level of training of the police special forces of Ukraine? Not a single child or law enforcement officer! And you say that we are all bad. Learn. And how happy the parents were ...

Happy exactly to the minute, until they were told that these were special forces exercises. And the fact that no one was warned and the children were not evacuated was simply an urgent need. To maximize the situation to the real.

And gray hair can be painted over. Now there are no problems with hair dye. And the children's psyche, after all that has been experienced, has not suffered at all. Children all quickly forget. Just think, they took part in military exercises ... On the contrary, from early childhood they learn to be "heroes"!

Zadir moor them, this is how many psychotropic and narcotic drugs to the heap to alcohol should have been used to come up with this? Of course, I understand that sometimes the use and leads to positive results, but not in this case. I would personally strangle both the special forces and their command. Led by the Minister ...

By the way, about the positive from overuse. To defuse. I'm going home in the morning. Slightly ahead, the guy was able to "finish drinking and began to move away." In the bus chanson howls. Morning. She drove the people up before work.

I go out. I stand at the back door. Please open. Drove zero attention. Mouzon is listening. And then this guy, the size of a port loader, leans towards him, nervously exhales the contents of his own lungs and says: “Cut down music, coachman! ..” Then he turns to me and loudly: “Now you say! ..” I went out on my own stop and out the back door.

Yes, I almost forgot! We didn’t take away the Crimean bridge from you. And they did not calm down. We found a suitable formulation for everyone! I quote the deputy of the Verkhovna Rada Nestor Shufrich: "In my opinion, as a citizen of Ukraine, our Crimea, Ukrainian. Consequently, all the infrastructure built in the Crimea is also Ukrainian. I would close the discussion - if our Crimea, then our Crimean bridge. And thank God that he is. "

Anyone answer me about the main "God" of Ukraine today? Who to worship? Putin or Rotenberg? With the first candidate everything seems to be clear. Habitually already and somehow calm. But the second ... What kind of fate do we have? Around the same "Odessa" ...

By the way, one of ours swept along your bridge ... "Well, you give a pancake," as a famous cinema general would say. The main thing was that he was driving over a bridge with a Ukrainian passport, and no one even checked him. He spoke specifically on the move.

This is what happens? Are all people on the bridge equal? And those of the Ukrainians, who also rode over the bridge and laid out the impression of the network, made the "Peacemaker". We have. Perhaps this is the difference Tseevropy and Russia ...

And at the end of a new topic. What we just did not argue, except for health. Need to fill the gap! Scientists at Stockholm University in Sweden have found that prolonged sleep on the weekend can not only compensate for the lack of sleep on weekdays, but also reduce the risk of premature death.

Imagine 13 years studied the problem. 38 000 experiment participants. Would ask me. I have long known that sleeping at the weekend is useful. Moreover, on weekdays to sleep is also useful. Uh-uh, if it were not for the Cockroach ... I would live forever!

"As a result, among people under the age of 65, the risk of premature mortality increased by 65 percent if they suffered from a lack of sleep. At the same time, if they compensated for the lack of sleep on weekends, their indicators were the same as in the control group" .

Now, I hope, you understand why I love the morning? It comes with sleep ... Now comes. I'll run in a quick way to inspect the kitchen, while the Cockroach has gone somewhere to sleep. No, in the light of new data science, heal.

And in the evening in the parliament must escape. They say our hydrant is asking for the Super Bowl to be asked for by the UEFA head. Or the Europa League final. Need to get in the course of things. What the hell is not joking when God sleeps.

In the meantime, goodbye. Smiles to you and good weather. I heard you have some kind of disasters with the weather occur. Snow falls before the start of summer. I will not give money, but you hold on! Although who am I saying this?

Will live!

Posttarakanum I don’t say goodbye for a long time, I took it here in three days - I'll be back. WinBillback, so to speak ... Or VimBillDan. No matter, the main thing - I'll be back!
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  1. +2
    29 May 2018 06: 53
    Thank Okoloradsky! Yes We look forward to continuing and photos ... So "... WinBillBack ... Or WimBillDan ...", we certainly do not care, most importantly - come back! lol
  2. +1
    29 May 2018 06: 57
    Thanks Cockroach for optimism hi ... cheered up in the morning ... we have been raining in Novosibirsk for a month now ... the heating has been turned off ... the mood is like that of Mamaia after the Battle of Kulikovo ... even though your article has pleased. smile
    1. +3
      29 May 2018 07: 33
      sad The day before yesterday, we had snow in the area in general ... Like summer ...
      1. +1
        29 May 2018 20: 48
        And we turned off the hot water (Gas debt), before the start of the heating season, only when will it start?
  3. +2
    29 May 2018 08: 01
    smash some of your stereotypes
    Apparently you are a little behind our stereotypes. But this is not a reproach to you. The article is of course self-critical, for which +. In addition, I noticed that after my criticism (about a year ago), to which you reacted too painfully, I still do not observe borsch and tarahaniha, which you used to recall through a word, which means I was right. But this again is no offense to you. I would like to wish you patience and survival.
  4. +2
    29 May 2018 08: 06
    The Ukrainian authorities blamed the Russians for all the pogroms and fights. Now it’s clear how it was. Thank you.
  5. BAI
    29 May 2018 09: 54
    One Spaniard asked me something in Spanish. In, damn it, my face. The Spaniards take for their own. Then he realized that I was an aborigine and asked in English. Like, what is this? Explained to him ...

    I even recorded that he answered in Spanish. Only without laughter. He wrote under dictation. Maybe someone will translate from Spanish, Russian letters transmitted by the Ukrainian. Something he said ... "Boboso. Cabron." And I especially liked about the face: "Cabeza de myrd." Although, I suspect that the Spaniards are also brothers to us. At least one expression of his I understood for sure. Well, half. Bes Mikulo.

    You have to be very careful with Spanish. I immediately remembered:
    I drove towards Krasnoarmeysky Prospekt on my Gilera Fuoco 500 scooter. I strictly followed the Traffic Rules and carefully monitored the traffic situation.
    At the intersection with Berounskaya Street, it was completely unexpected for me and other traffic participants that a black Hummer car without a fixed number drove into the red light. I noticed a danger on time and in order to avoid an accident I had to go into the oncoming lane during braking, where I stopped on the side of the road.
    Performing this maneuver, I heard behind the sound of a strong blow. Turning back, I saw that the Hummer rammed the Suzuki-brand car following me in the same direction. Suzuki Jimny almost completely lost its hood due to a blow. A girl was driving a Suzuki Jimny, and I went to give her first aid.
    Also in the car, I saw in the back seat of a child in a child seat. I opened the trunk of the injured car and through it I pulled out the baby (a boy about four years old). At the same time, I removed the warning triangle from the trunk and placed it on the road. Then I helped the girl-driver get out through the window of the driver's door.
    After making sure that the girl and the child were not injured, he accompanied them both to the side of the road. A Mitsubishi Airtrek stopped nearby, and I asked its driver to call the traffic police and ambulance.
    Then I walked over to the Hummer car to make sure that its passengers did not need help. In an open window, I saw two people. They had dark skin, curly black hair and a characteristic appearance, which led to the idea that these people came here from the southern regions. Therefore, I suggested that Spanish tourists were lost in the car. I know Spanish very well, as a child I lived in Madrid, where my father worked at the embassy. Therefore, I decided to inquire of the southern guests in pure Spanish whether they paid attention to the red traffic signal: “Al huele pido rosa?”.
    In response to my question, the Hummer driver decided to hit me with his left hand in the head area through an open window. But since by this time I had not taken off my motorcycle helmet, the blow fell on him. This may explain the fractures of four fingers on his left hand. After that, the driver jumped out of the car and struck me with his right hand a second blow to the head area. This is what I can explain her further fracture in the radial bone.
    Following the driver, a second passenger jumped out of the car and hit me with a heavy object on the back. This did not hurt me, because under my jacket I was wearing motorcycle protection, known as the “tortoise”. I did not enter into contact martial arts with the attacker, but only carefully laid it on the asphalt and began to wait for the traffic police to arrive. But the broken nose and jaw of a Hammer passenger can only be explained by the fact that at the time of the accident he was unfastened in the car, and for some reason the airbags did not work at the time of the impact. So the man was injured on the front panel of the car.
    I can’t report anything about the torn certificate of the assistant deputy of the Makhachkala Council, since I do not know anything about it. As well as I have no idea how it could end up in the mouth and esophagus of the Hummer's driver.
    I can’t say anything about the group of citizens gathered around the scene of the accident on motorcycles and scooters, because I saw them for the first time.
    Also, I can not explain in any way the fact that someone cut all the wheels of a Hummer car, broke all the windows, cut a leather interior, pierced the roof with a crowbar, and to top it with the same crowbar, completely turned the already damaged hood and made the engine unusable. I have not the slightest relation to these events.
    The truth of my words can be confirmed by witnesses and road accident participants, for example, drivers of the Mitsubishi Airtrek and Suzuki Jimny cars.
    1. +1
      29 May 2018 22: 50
      Quote: BAI
      The truth of my words can be confirmed by witnesses and road accident participants, for example, drivers of the Mitsubishi Airtrek and Suzuki Jimny

      believe good You have to be very careful with Spanish wassat
  6. 0
    29 May 2018 10: 12
    Thank you for your optimism and good irony. Okoloradsky interpretation of events as always the most objective.
  7. +1
    29 May 2018 11: 10
    About nothing .......
  8. 0
    29 May 2018 11: 19
    Thank you for the fresh lime and their good presentation. We will wait for the news! Doђi Kosh, in the sense of write more! Yes
  9. 0
    29 May 2018 12: 54
    And then this guy, the dimensions of a port loader, leans toward him, nervously exhales the contents of his own lungs and says: "Cut down the music, coachman! .." Then he turns to me and loudly: "Now you say! .."

    Krasaffcheg !!! laughing
  10. +3
    29 May 2018 18: 42
    And here we have “even better than yours”: Mudko, who has requested the WHOLE sport, has been appointed to manage construction, “for the sake of fulfilling the decree” - they will raise taxes, lower pensions, and hell knows when they will reduce (maybe) excise taxes. Here we have been “fighting for 4 years”, and there is Sberbank with you more and more in Kuev, and you are NOT in the “occupied” Crimea !!
    Well, what else - for four years has the "supposedly ours" government strangled strangled, strangled strangled our economy and in particular squeezing the "last sou", under the "task" - we are fighting to reduce inflation and now - they will increase the VAT tax, which simply will automatically increase inflation !! am . Such a notion that in Moscow it is necessary to repaint the "white house" in yellow, drive the ministers and other bastards from the government there and - hammer the doors (you can not even set fire to them) !!!
    Remember, “you” sold an unfinished aircraft carrier to the Chinese needles - they not only repaired it and use it for its intended purpose, but they made a COPY that was improved from it, but in Russia “there are discussions whether and what aircraft carriers are needed” am
    What else is “good” - your local fascists are killing civilians in the Donbas and the “small country” Russia, in the person of its diplomats, “expresses concern and gathers facts.” am It looks like our Foreign Ministry has already adopted the "progressive Chinese experience" and expresses "another 10,000 warning."
  11. 0
    1 June 2018 10: 57
    Thank you, dear Cockroach! Your photos are good!
    But the “number”, it is the “number”, is not a film! Click 100 photos, somewhere 20 will be good, 5 - very good and maybe 3 - great! wink Such a thing ..
    I wish you health and prosperity! love
  12. The comment was deleted.

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