Military Review

Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. For that matter, it will go wrong


Greetings to you, dear readers. At the beginning, according to tradition, I apologize to all those who were accidentally offended, all those whom I did not mention in my notes among friends or enemies, all those who spoil the mood with their own thoughts. I myself have long forgiven enemies and foes. I understand that in the heat of an argument, you can sometimes use a little word, jerk your shirt so that the buttons fly into the enemy with bullets.

Now let's talk about our affairs. I will tell you today about the real Ukraine, not television, not fake. The one that continues to survive. The one that bends like a willow in the wind bends in all directions, but does not break. And we have these winds ...

I'll start with the unexpected ... for you. In relations between Ukraine and Russia, a new stage begins. And, as it seems to me, the stage is significant. Which one I do not know, but those of you who will go to the Crimea will see it for sure. Our maydauny already depressed.

So, your border guards are removing checkpoints on the Ukrainian-Russian border in Crimea. The border, on your part, is now no different from all other borders. There are no blocks in Kalanchak, Chaplinka, Chongar. I don’t want to associate this fact with Poroshenko and Putin’s 2-hour talk, but ... Our nationalists are already green with anger. The border is now real!

It remains to look at your Crimean shaft (similar to our European one). After all, the competition for its construction by the Crimea has not been canceled. I understand that you are not afraid of our saboteurs, but yes boars and other wildlife with the plague - yes. Maybe this is right. When C-400 stands on the peninsula.

Only here while raccoons with signs of rabies come running to us from Russia. There, at the Nikolaevka automobile checkpoint in the Chernihiv region, such a saboteur, disguised as a raccoon, came running. Imagine, alone captured the border point! The security camera filmed the terror.

And prepared as! Throughout the shift, the border guards could not drive him out of his post. I had to call specialists from the Ukrainian society of hunters and fishermen. Only they were able to neutralize it. From a shotgun. Interestingly, in some such camp MTR Russia he was prepared?

Something today I am all about us and about us. You have something more interesting about people. But I’ll move to this topic gradually. Through the monuments.

Remember the message about the monument to Taras Shevchenko in the city of Stryi? The one whose head was blown off? I stood with 1958, Taras. I did not touch anyone once ... Two literate people confused with Lenin. You will not get away from the activists! Two local idiot 24 and 26 years old tried. The head is bronze ... I just want to paraphrase the famous movie character: "Won what, Mikhalych! Lenin's demolition was a business" ...

Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. For that matter, it will go wrong

I honestly expected something like that. In Ukraine, the head blows much. But to Shevchenko ... Yes, and even a monument ... I remember in Canada was the case. Shevchenko monument was stolen in Toronto in 2007 year. But there are also literate, relatively, people. Understand that the separatist was also a collaborator hidden.

This misadventures of Taras Grigorievich is not over. We have another place that is associated with it. In Zaporozhye. Shevchenko rode somehow in nenku. And he stopped at the Cossack Prokop Bulat. The point in 1843 was. So, he overcame after the dumplings of Kobzar and slept under a pear in the yard. Cossack Bulat long gone. There is no yard, but there is a pear! So called - Tarasov pear.

Fenced the tree with a fence. Tours lead. Hryvnia earn and attach the younger generation. Then I’m quoting the message: "The old pear is in the snow. Only now I realized that the pear did not have a metal fence. It was not so long ago. So there were many sections, they could not do it with crowbars. Or it wasn’t metalworkers "If only our old pear had not gone under the chainsaw. Without a fence, the tree can now be burned."

After all, Kobzar foresaw everything.

"Rabi, steps, dirt of Moscow, Warsaw smіttya - yours Mrs. Yasnovelmozhі Getmani. Why are you bobbing, vi! Sini heart of Ukraine! Scho kindly go to yarmi, Better, yak dad went."! Or in Russian: Slaves, serfs, dirt of Moscow, Warsaw garbage, your lords - Both hetmans and chieftains! So than you swag, you! Sons of heart Ukraine! That cleverly go in the yoke, Clever, than the fathers went! "

But it goes to the "heroes of the UPA." I mean, monuments. Kohl went such a booze, you know. In short, in Kharkov a monument to these very “heroes” was painted in the colors of the Polish flag. Not bad? Where is Kharkov, and where is the UPA. And, especially, where is Poland. It seems to me that we have a popular horse game.

After all, in the same place, in Kharkov, in the Victory Park, the memorial sign to the ataman of Zaporizhian Sich Ivan Sirko was broken. Even the head of a cockroach, which is quite resistant to stress, is already spinning. Who is who now?

Unnoticed, little by little, as in a song, the problem of money comes up again. Hryvnia turn into a bright dream. Now, perhaps, you thought about the "subcutaneous fat." About the money that gags and banks. In vain! Privat Bank began to block the accounts of those who pass through any lists of enemies of Ukraine. Type Peacemaker.

"The bank revealed negative information regarding you on the information resource of the Center for Studies on the Signs of Crimes against National Security of Ukraine, Peace, Human Security and International Law Enforcement Peacemaker, whose partners are the Security Service of Ukraine, the General Staff of the Armed Forces of Ukraine, the State Border Service, the Ministry of Internal Affairs, penitentiary service. "

This, by the way, is the official response of the bank to one of the clients whose bank has blocked a very decent amount. I do not understand why all this is a burden? Immediately confiscate all. If the client does not have enough mind after each transaction in the comments to the payment write "Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!".

And yet, if someone gets from the lists of mentally ill people, money is also blocked? Or there in the lists can not swim? Once it was called kidalovo, now the fight against separatism ...

And money is needed. I'm not for nothing that started the note with forgiveness. Maslenitsa ends. Forgiveness Sunday. Without pancakes impossible. And for their hostess to cook, the owner must bring the products. Prose of life.

And now pancakes "bite" us. Officially, a couple of dozen pancakes cost the owner in 24,4 hryvnia. Last year was 19,2. 27% price increase. "Yayki, buter, mleko", as the Germans demanded during the occupation. Everything has risen in price. Maybe it's time to live in Grushevskomu? "... the ancient Ukrainians lived at the Pechora and dubbed the mammoth women" ... There is nothing about the carnival.

Or listen to our minister of social policy Andrei Reva? "In Ukraine, small pensions are due to the Soviet Union, which paid small salaries." I do not know the exact answer. But no, I know. Reva - a genius idiot!

Interestingly, in our government security reports read? This is about the official, I emphasize, the official owners of the firearms weapons. In the country 663 126 proprietors firearms. In the hands of more than 800 thousands of trunks (736 918 hunting rifles and 145 859 rifled hunting carbines). And warriors of light with trophies? And the security forces, who also have everything wrong with their heads?

I specifically looked at crime statistics. It was interesting to find out where our criminals mostly live. Dnieper, Kharkov, Zaporozhye, Odessa. And now answer yourself, where is the least crime? After all, I cite official data.

Most correctly answered. Crime at the minimum in the Luhansk and Donetsk regions! Even afraid to answer myself why. Probably because they took into account the territory of LDNR. And there, to my knowledge, the rule of law is tightly controlled. There is no such effective National Police as in the rest of Ukraine.

But, despite the situation, President Poroshenko, by his decree of February 13, legalized sports weapons. Now we have allowed such weapons.

"A sports weapon is a firearm (other than a combat one) or a pneumatic rifle, diluted and cold steel weapon designed solely for hitting targets during sporting events, the parameters and characteristics of which are fixed in the rules of sports competitions in sports recognized in Ukraine."

We are waiting for the emergence of sports clubs in the nationalists. And do not think that it will be a small-caliber weapon. Competitions can be held and shooting from a carbine, for example. NVP. And there will be official trunks in warehouses. There, in the decree, the footnote is special. Such weapons can be owned only by organizations. Sports club "Azov". Sports society "Donbass". Aidar, Dnipro and Shakhtar. Sugs your mother ...

Okay. Enough dark forebodings. It's time you cheer up. Life consists not only of gloomy flowers. There are bright. Here for example.

Ukrainian arrives in Poland to work. And there is Europe. The interview must pass. And ask him about the attitude to Stepan Bandera and the UPA. And he hesitates, not quite clearly says the word shit. As a result of failure. What are vile people, these Poles. And not smart.

How to be Ukrainians now? Loud say "Bandera shit, UPA bastards" will enter the home on the list of separatists and enemies of the nation. If you say softly, they won't give permission. Tolerant need to be! Would put in the office a bust of Bandera and ... Comes candidate. Delicately spat in the face of the bust - come through. It is suitable to wash toilet bowls. Missed - free.

In this scenario, we now have two stories teach? This is the same cognitive dissonance. For those who do not understand these words, we will get confused when we need to shout. When "Glory to Bandera", and when "ganba". Oh, the Poles will wait for our retaliatory sanctions. They will wash their toilet bowls and collect strawberries!

But there is no such problem that the Ukrainian would not solve! We have come up with for learning the right answer at the interview ... a "third age" university! This is what I am telling you so that you, too, with envy, have changed color a little too. So, the "third age" are those for 50.

And the subjects are the most necessary. “The first direction we will have is economic. There are people who are interested in how to save money, how to work at OSMD, and they will also study psychology, computer technologies, hand-made and cooking,” said Svetlana Nestula, director of the educational and scientific institute of leadership.

Dedok my beautifully commented on this event. Out of respect for age, I will not translate. You will understand everything. "Garna is on the right. Aleh nehay in the ear of Cherga will be taken quietly, who for 80, more than an offensive stink might not survive." Here it is wisdom! And you say that Ukraine entered the top 10 of the worst countries for pensioners ...

Another fun event with us. Our pot pleased. In the sense of Ukrzaliznytsya. Remember, we have stopped the message railway? True, somehow interestingly stopped. Your trains don't come to us, and ours are quite even successful to you. Look at the most profitable routes. Smile for sure.

№5 / 6 Kiev - Moscow - 11 wagons, 77% occupancy, 154 million profit.
№23 / 24 Odessa - Moscow - 10 cars, 89% occupancy, 98 million profits.
№105 / 106 Kiev - Odessa - 17 wagons, 95% occupancy, 47 million profit.
№91 / 92 Kiev - Lviv -15 wagons, 87% occupancy, 29,7 million profit.
№53 / 54 Kiev - St. Petersburg - 11 carriages, 65% of population, 20 million profit.

But in Kherson, in a supermarket on Bezrodny, one buyer, Anatoly Gritsenko, was given a change in a hryvnia bill in 220! Now the leadership of the Orehovsky colony No. 88 (Zaporozhye) was summoned to Kiev for explanations. It was there that for many years prisoners printed fake money. Careful to be, sir officers. Do not discredit the system.

Of course, if this Gritsenko himself were given a bill in 220 dollars, he would not have raised the whole Ukraine. I would sit quietly and rejoice. This is not 200 Russian rubles with the Crimea. Although, where is the guarantee that soon someone will not receive a deposit in denomination in 220 volts?

Well, I can't help but remember the old Odessa Jewish joke. Finally. A Jew arrived in Kiev, walking along the railway station. Ukrainians come up to him, offering to buy a gold chain for 100 $. Jew trades and buys it for 50 $. The fact that the chain was not golden was immediately understood by the Jew, but the 100 bucks were false, and the delivery of 50 bucks was real - the Ukrainians did not immediately understand ...

Mokritsa knows her. Maybe we have such a fate - to deceive ourselves forever. But we live fun. Interesting. How to smoke on the barrel with gasoline. Jerk - not jerk. Adrenaline nationwide some. Ukrainian dope.

By the end I will add the same positive! Congratulations to the readers of IN, those who feel and consider themselves to be involved in the February 23 holiday with the upcoming. Those who now perform combat missions. Those proudly called the veteran of the Armed Forces. Those who defended and protects their home, their family, their children. Those who defend their homeland. Will live!

And see you soon. We still have to climb in secret places in the house. What is there for me cockroach cooked for the holiday? Interestingly, as much chitin itches ...
Dear reader, to leave comments on the publication, you must sign in.
    KVU-NSVD 20 February 2018 08: 30
    Thanks to the author for an interesting presentation with humor, albeit bitter, first-person impressions. I always read with interest, sometimes it happens unexpectedly smile
  2. parusnik
    parusnik 20 February 2018 08: 49
    Thanks to the author for congratulations! Will live..
  3. sxfRipper
    sxfRipper 20 February 2018 09: 04
    Anatoly Gritsenko, gave change in a bill of 220 hryvnia!
    Ay, Iolodets !!! An old joke about Lenin in a cap on a chervonets nervously smokes aside!
  4. BAI
    BAI 20 February 2018 09: 26
    The author increases labor productivity. Previously, there was 1 article per week, and now in 2 days - 2 articles. It is commendable!
    1. domokl
      domokl 20 February 2018 12: 33
      I understand that this is exactly the article about which Tarakan mentioned yesterday at the beginning of the day .. It turns out that the first unscheduled bully
  5. Egoza
    Egoza 20 February 2018 09: 42
    Hello cockroach! I hasten to add to the progress in our education - they introduced an additional subject for high school students - "Financial literacy". And the topics are so interesting - "How to plan a family budget." Despite the fact that prices for everything are jumping like on the Maidan, and salaries and pensions remain at the same level, you really can’t figure it out without a scientific approach to planning a family budget. As for the pogrom bombers .... here somewhere, their actions remind me of the actions of people with ZPR (mental retardation). Maybe Chernobyl influenced, but we just noticed? In any case, it’s time to build new institutions, such as a colony with the treatment of psychological diseases. otherwise we can’t do it!
    1. Tula gingerbread
      Tula gingerbread 20 February 2018 14: 38
      There seems to be a lot of things to laugh at, but something is not funny, because these are people, it was necessary to bring them to such a state.
    HEATHER 20 February 2018 15: 07
    Thanks, Cockroach! And such a terrorist in the picture, it is useless to neutralize! By the way, where does he have polite stripes? wassat hi drinks
    1. domokl
      domokl 20 February 2018 17: 32
      laughing Raccoons have no polite people .. They are green little men soldier bully drinks
  7. gerkost2012
    gerkost2012 20 February 2018 15: 45
    How tired of reading peppy nonsense about anything. The second day there is an artillery battle on the Svetlodar arc, houses in Debaltseve jump. A roar is heard over many tens of kilometers. In fact, the population is sitting and waiting, on the head when the fucking, today or tomorrow? So what's new in these Russian-Ukrainian relations? No self-respecting people
    power, would not allow Nazi gangrene to grow at its borders, and would break the neck of those who destroy the Russians. Maybe it’s worth remembering the Tsar-liberator Alexander 2, who, in the worst situation for Russia, was not afraid to go to war in defense of the Bulgarians and defeat Turkey in the war of 1877/78. I dare to say that even ridiculed Khrushchev or Brezhnev would simply have swept a country like that from a political map Ukraine, if something like that was outlined there. So what is the author of the material talking about?
    1. domokl
      domokl 20 February 2018 16: 14
      Is Russia again to blame? Little came to the Donbass men from all over the country? Few of them then kicked out from there when they got a little poppy?
      Alas, but today it is very doubtful that the volunteers will massively go to the Donbass. Some saw the situation in real life. others got confused as to what. Third got tired of sitting stupidly in the trenches and "spending the cartridges."
      And about the Cockroach, as far as I remember, he never wrote about the Donbass. Two or three years ago, something slipped about the "militias" and that was all. He writes about the places where he lives or happens. The military theme applies only when it concerns the majority of the population.
      1. gerkost2012
        gerkost2012 20 February 2018 16: 39
        And who from the Donbass volunteers "drove"? Obviously, the main author of the Minsk agreements. Let me remind you that Donbass is the territory of Russia. For example, when in 1938 the Central Committee decided to create the Lugansk Region as a gift to Voroshilov (50th anniversary!), The northern part was cut from the RSFSR, these are Novopskovsky, Markovsky and Starobelsky districts! And you have to return your own, otherwise you should not think about any global influence and significance. Self-confidence and helplessness are completely different.
        In addition, while the DLNR is covering the southern flank of Russia, and not vice versa. From the checkpoint Dolzhansky to Rostov n / a just 90 km.
        1. domokl
          domokl 20 February 2018 17: 36
          Do not write nonsense ..
          Quote: gerkost2012
          And who from Donbass volunteers "drove out"?
          The site has enough people who sincerely went to fight in the Donbass and were exposed when they began to form the corps.
          Can you tell me where the backbone of the "East" is now? Where are the Cossacks? Just wondering
        2. gerkost2012
          gerkost2012 20 February 2018 23: 44
          Moderators, do you act on the principle of "better to overtake than not finish"? That’s why you are warning? After all, the main author of the agreements was Merkel. Her great influence I had in mind.
  8. Igor V
    Igor V 20 February 2018 15: 53
    And you, Cockroach, happy holiday! You are our distant eyes and ears, transmitting information to us from an invisible front. soldier
  9. Vladimir dronov
    Vladimir dronov 20 February 2018 17: 19
    Super as always !!!!!
  10. Ska
    Ska 20 February 2018 19: 13
    It is very nice to read the text, I laughed and somewhere even let a tear go. The author is very grateful for such a "syllable".
  11. Lexus
    Lexus 21 February 2018 00: 21
    And laughter and sin (Russian proverb)

    Cockroach, thank you for not forgetting about us, and for congratulations!
    Very mutual! hi
  12. Mih1974
    Mih1974 21 February 2018 06: 58
    Interesting and informative. I just do not understand how the "course of 20 pancakes" was calculated? request Our roofing felts in Russia are some other, or one of two. at their rate of 24 hryvnias, this is where the rubles are 50. So this is somewhere a little less than a liter of milk and one egg (we will "neglect" the flour). But either I don’t get the right pancakes (I don’t know how to make 20 liters) or they have such thin pancakes baked in Ukraine “from wealth”.
    By "live to see Monday" - for anyone who urgently needs to send troops to Ukria, look at how hard they are trying to restore order in the Crimea’s command and control system. At the same time, keep in mind that just a huge amount of money is tricked into the Crimea. And now remember everything that Tarakan wrote about their officials and the management system in general, and compare with the mentioned problems in restoring order in the Crimea. It’s just that it’s not money and people pulling Russia right now, “returning” Ukraine, but in any way, we have our own problems above the roof. Therefore, the only real option is to help (not to interfere) LDNR to “liberate” the whole of Ukraine. And having really shot a huge bunch of people, in the regime of "war-communism" to begin to rebuild the country. And it’s on our own and on our own, because if we help them (we occupy, as they have been groaning from lust for more than one year), then Ukrainians (the majority) will immediately turn on the “offended”, and everything that we will invest will consider “they will should". negative
    The only thing that Russia really has to offer liberated Ukraine is the rule of law, which we will ensure (even through executions). good But the Bendery trash - will have to be exterminated completely, enough of the last time “underworked”.
  13. Oleko
    Oleko 21 February 2018 10: 04
    Reading is sad. My cousin lives in Kiev. Disability pensioner. 69 years old. My mother communicates with her (91 years old). I can’t. (This is when I am at home). The conversation will surely slip into politics and your sister will start shaking ("This is your Putin ....). But she’s the kindest woman. Mother took care of her until the last. So now she has very rarely called up with her mother (mine). She says nothing about life , about prices, about pensions, etc. She’s afraid of SBU wiretapping. Mother doesn’t provoke her with questions either. But from fragmentary phrases it becomes clear that life is getting worse and worse.
    Yes, and at the Cockroach, I feel sadness and longing. It's my personal opinion.
  14. BambrSV
    BambrSV 22 February 2018 20: 03
    And you with the holiday! Chitin YOUR SURROUND Armored fellow
  15. tihonmarine
    tihonmarine 3 March 2018 20: 26
    Really all Ukraine picked up a virus that washed the brains of their heads.