Military Review

Trump's Sanctions List or Operation Oligarch

33
Trump's Sanctions List or Operation Oligarch



Everything described here is pure fiction, although it is presented in the context of real events. Any resemblance to real people is pure coincidence.

- Hello comrades. At ease, sit down. - Putin sat down at the table, and all those present sat down at him.
“As you all know, the sanctioning“ Putin’s friends list ”has just been published. With deep satisfaction I want to note that the entire composition of our government has entered it. Appreciation of your work by Washington indicates the greater work done by cabinet members and the correctness of their chosen direction.

(The Prime Minister breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed.)
- Congratulations to all, I express my sincere thanks, keep it up, do not slow down and go for the best.
All involuntarily looked at the legendary Antonov, whose breasts were decorated with insignia "For inclusion in the EU sanctions list" and "For inclusion in the Canada sanctions list."

- I was particularly pleased with the list of so-called. "Oligarchs". I was pleased to see familiar names in it: Yours, Elena Sergeevna (Mrs. Batova embarrassedly blushed), Yours, Roman Alekseevich (Mr. Andreyev mentally made the sign of the cross, "Holy, holy, holy, thank God, passed by!"), Your, Semen Arkadyevich (Mr. Vetrov straightened his fingers crossed under the table).

Putin continued:
“Having received this list, Sergey Viktorovich and I first decided to respond to this obviously unfriendly step ...”
At these words, Shoigu, who was dozing at the end of the table, happily started up, quickly took out a mobile phone from his pocket, his finger hovered over the red button.
“... but then they decided it was premature.”
Shoigu sadly hid the phone in his pocket.
- Do not worry, Sergey Kuzhugetovich, your hour will come again, and very soon.
(Hearing this, the businessman Burenin, in whose heart the globalist and patriot fought until the last moment, immediately mentally chose the Motherland and, hiding his hands under the table, sent an SMS to his wife with an indication to sell all American real estate urgently.)

- Entrepreneurs are free.
Religiously, the oligarchs got up and hurriedly went to leave the office.
- And you, Mr. Krutikov, I will ask to stay.

**********************************
- Anatoly Romanovich, - Putin stared at Krutikov with an emphasis, - and you are not on the list. Do not explain why?
- Vladimir Vladimirovich ... I do not know ... - Krutikov pressed his hands to his chest, - this is some kind of mistake ... I'm on the secret list! - He was found - by God!
“Alexander Vasilyevich,” Putin said to the head of the FSB.
Bortnikov took a pistol from a holster, drove a cartridge into the chamber and looked inquiringly at the president.
- Contact the technical department, let our guys rummage in the closed State Department database, find this secret list and check if there are Krutikov in the secret list or not, and report back tomorrow.
“Yes,” Bortnikov sighed sadly and hid the gun back in its holster.
“You are free,” Putin said to Krutikov, and said, “Until tomorrow, they are free.”

**************************************
Arriving home Krutikov fell into a chair and clutched his head in his hands. The wife who entered the room looked at him questioningly,
- Today, the Americans published the sanctions list. I'm not in it.
- Ungrateful bastards! - the spouse has blown up, - and it after all that you have made for them!
“What to do, what to do,” repeated Krutikov, rushing about the room — I am finished.
- Urgently write to Trump! Require you to be urgently listed. And do not postpone! You have a whole day left.

Krutikov rushed to the computer and began to fill the text:
Donnie! Buddy! Today the sanctions list is published. I'm not in it. Can not explain what kind of garbage? Maybe I am on the secret list?
Your friend Tolyan


The answer came immediately:
Friend Tolik! I personally ordered to delete you from all lists as a true friend of America. So you can not worry, you do not have anywhere.
Your friend donny

“He stabbed you without a knife, you bastard,” Krutikov thought with despair, “Benefactor of the goddamned man.” Zadornov correctly said that they were stupid. ”

*************************************
Director of the FSB in a steady voice reported:
- During the operation "Oligarch" all western residency was opened, both acting agents and objects marked by Western special services for future recruitment. All oligarchs that were not on the sanctions list were taken under surveillance. Three tried to leave the country on forged documents. All three have been detained, are already giving confessions, expressing sincere repentance and are ready to turn their knowledge and capital for the good of the Motherland.
“Good,” Putin nodded, “go on.”

“As we learned, over the past four days, the 51 businessman from the sanction list received such a letter,” Bortnikov put a piece of paper on the table.

“Rus businessman, give up! You are surrounded by sanctions. Your position is hopeless. The commissars lie to you: the Russian economy is torn to shreds, yesterday in the Vologda region the last hedgehog was caught and eaten. Stop the senseless resistance! Switch to the US side and they will treat you well: you will have the right to conduct your business in an American country and according to American laws, and as soon as Putin’s regime falls - in Russia!
This leaflet is a passport and is valid for any number of Russian businessmen. ”


- Well, and how did businessmen react to these “passes”?
- 28 personally came to the authorities, reported receiving a “pass” and declared their loyalty to the state, 14 threw it into the trash can, 8 was flushed down the toilet. When visiting Redkin, the businessman locked himself in the outhouse, ate the “pass”, and told the staff that he had not received any leaflets and he heard about it for the first time.
The general straightened up:
- The overall results of the operation are regarded as satisfactory.

“Well, well, I agree,” Putin said, “well done, General, did a good job.”
“Then Vladimir Vladimirovich,” Bastrykin put a piece of paper on the president’s table, “the director of the foreign intelligence service is applying for awarding the agent“ Red ”.
“True,” Putin took the pen and signed the presentation with a flourish, “indeed, if not for his sanctions list ...”
Author:
33 comments
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  1. Bastinda
    Bastinda 11 February 2018 06: 41
    +10
    "We are not 37 years old" GDP. But the author licked deliciously ... laughing
    1. 210ox
      210ox 11 February 2018 08: 12
      +4
      Respect to the author, he laughed in the morning. And about the fact that WHO IS NOT on the list ... There is reason to think about the relevant authorities ... Dreams ..
      Quote: Bastinda
      "We are not 37 years old" GDP. But the author licked deliciously ... laughing
      1. Vitaly Anisimov
        Vitaly Anisimov 11 February 2018 09: 22
        0
        Quote: 210ox
        Respect to the author, he laughed in the morning. And about the fact that WHO IS NOT on the list ... There is reason to think about the relevant authorities ... Dreams ..

        He laughed too, but there is some truth in every joke .. Big changes are coming!
        And about Trump, I have vague suspicions, as in Russian, he acts .. hehe
        1. Sling cutter
          Sling cutter 11 February 2018 12: 26
          +6
          Quote: MIKHAN
          And about Trump, I have vague suspicions, as in Russian, he acts .. hehe

          Wiki:
          "An agent (Dunce), a pupil of Shtirlitsa (M.M. Isaev), began his activities in Gandurasia, then moved to Colombia, where he personally froze the leader of the Colombian drug mafia in the refrigerator, while he froze his head a little. Moscow wanted to recall the agent in connection with Incapacity, but the Mexican medical commission of the NKVD recognized Balbes healthy. For a number of successful operations, including the undermining of the strategic stock of pork stew hidden by the Nazis (banned everywhere) in Antarctica, Moscow appointed Balbes as an American billionaire, with a certificate, a badge and a letter of honor from the All-Union Central Council of Trade Unions. For further instructions, he personally visited the head of the Dresden "rock club" under the pseudonym Okurok, to whom he personally handed over two bags of captured Colombian "coconut" under the guise of cement. Steven Seagal (Victor Signal, former Odessa bendyuzhnik) was handed over to Balbes. success in the collapse of the American economy and a successful operation for coloring snot of brooklyn bridge in flag colors of friendly guinea
          "was appointed by Moscow, in agreement with the Mongol comrades, the president of the United States."
          1. vlad66
            vlad66 11 February 2018 14: 41
            +9
            Quote: Stroporez
            "was appointed by Moscow, in agreement with the Mongol comrades, the president of the United States."

            Friend is 5 ++++ good good good drinks
            1. Sling cutter
              Sling cutter 11 February 2018 14: 43
              +2
              Quote: vlad66
              Friend is 5 ++++

              Wiki is impossible not to believe! laughing wassat drinks
              1. vlad66
                vlad66 11 February 2018 14: 46
                +8
                Quote: Stroporez
                Quote: vlad66
                Friend is 5 ++++

                Wiki is impossible not to believe! laughing wassat drinks

                Damn I do not believe myself No. Only wiki believe it. yes soldier drinks
    2. vlad66
      vlad66 11 February 2018 08: 45
      +10
      Quote: Bastinda
      "We are not 37 years old" GDP. But the author licked deliciously ... laughing

      In the mirror, the mirror does not forget to look, there you will see
      Thanks to the author, cheered up Sunday morning.
    3. allaykbar
      allaykbar 11 February 2018 15: 50
      +3
      But the author licked deliciously ...


      It’s just as delicious how you took the government now with this post and went against the tide, becoming the new Solzhenitsyn of our time

      Do you not have tears from the triumph of Truth, after each of your protest posts?

      It seems to me some here, after reading you and seeing you as a fellow for fighting - they wipe away a mean tear, watching the sprouts of truth break through on the VO forum
  2. igor1981
    igor1981 11 February 2018 06: 48
    +6
    Everything is exactly the opposite with us.
  3. andrewkor
    andrewkor 11 February 2018 07: 01
    +2
    What kind of redhead is this? I only know about Nanista, and ours is Blond!
  4. aszzz888
    aszzz888 11 February 2018 07: 01
    +6
    Normal "easy detective genre." You can afford to read and relax on the weekend. It’s not all the time to fight for presidential candidates. Thanks, author.
  5. Sofa General
    Sofa General 11 February 2018 07: 50
    +7
    the author’s fantasy works well.
    it’s a pity that the picture drawn is as far from reality as the distance from the Earth to the Moon for an ant
    1. vlad66
      vlad66 11 February 2018 08: 48
      +10
      Quote: Sofa General
      the author’s fantasy works well.

      Quote: igor1981
      Everything is exactly the opposite with us.

      Quote: Bastinda
      We have not 37 years old "GDP. But the author licked deliciously ..

      Which, in connection with the elections, completely demolished the tower belay Humor and satire are not understood already. Similarly, people’s politics are driving crazy faster. request
  6. rotmistr60
    rotmistr60 11 February 2018 11: 23
    +2
    (The Prime Minister breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed.)
    Perhaps this would have happened in reality. I liked it from the heart written.
  7. fa2998
    fa2998 11 February 2018 11: 30
    +4
    Quote: Sofa General
    the drawn picture is also far from reality,

    Politics is just the visible part of the iceberg. The main part is the economy.
    The mercantile moment of the Western rulers can be understood. The economy is not so happy, the pace of development is not encouraging. And then a new income has opened - our "businessmen" in the beak have brought pr.20 trillion to Western banks in 1 years. $! So the owners go to jail, money to the treasury! Especially they will not resist, all the same, the state was not earned by generations of 100-200 years, but stolen in 15-20 years, they still steal.
    We now have all the propaganda screaming, “they beat us and they offend us,” sanctions are being opened against them. And just ask our authorities, WHAT THE HELL, OUR MONEY WAS IN THE WEST !! Why do not they work for the Russian economy? request what hi
    1. Sofa General
      Sofa General 11 February 2018 14: 39
      +4
      So good ... I have to ask. Who will ask? Plumber Ivanov? Locksmith Petrov? Turner Sidorov? So they will be sent by mother, it’s good if the protection of the “oligarchs” still doesn’t give a damn.
      1. Sling cutter
        Sling cutter 11 February 2018 14: 54
        +5
        Quote: Sofa General
        just ask our authorities- WHAT THE HELL IS OUR MONEY FOUND IN THE WEST !! Why do not they work for the Russian economy?

        Quote: Sofa General
        Who will ask? Plumber Ivanov? Locksmith Petrov? Turner Sidorov? So they will be sent by mother, it’s good if the protection of the “oligarchs” still doesn’t give a damn.

        Comrade hi So answered already. Something like that ...
        1. White and fluffy
          White and fluffy 20 February 2018 07: 18
          0
          Is it really blurted out! ??
  8. Sergeant71
    Sergeant71 11 February 2018 12: 49
    +1
    Laughter through tears. If it were all that simple ....
    1. Vitaly Anisimov
      Vitaly Anisimov 11 February 2018 12: 57
      0
      Quote: Sergeant71
      Laughter through tears. If it were all that simple ....

      The Russians are so usual ..)))
      And the funny thing is that we get it .. exactly so!
  9. Lexus
    Lexus 11 February 2018 13: 47
    +5
    Ostap Bender knew 400 relatively honest ways of taking money from the population (Golden Calf, novel, I. Ilf and E. Petrov)

    The only difference is that the "son of a Turkish citizen" had to look for such an individual, but in the modern world they are "everything in full view." Only the Russian justice and tax authorities "do not see them" and do not find them, because it is always possible for ordinary citizens, once again, to "look into their pockets."
    1. allaykbar
      allaykbar 11 February 2018 14: 25
      +3
      probably the government lives with taxes on your Lexus?
      1. Sling cutter
        Sling cutter 11 February 2018 14: 58
        +4
        Quote: allaykbar
        probably the government lives with taxes on your Lexus?

        And you want to say that the government lives on the income from your analyzes? belay
        1. allaykbar
          allaykbar 11 February 2018 15: 31
          +3
          I am? No. This is said by non-villagers like you. that you drag the government to your ridiculous taxes.

          I know that the lion's share of the state’s income is taxes on mining, Gazprom, Rosneft and other Lukoils. (and when the clowns joke about the fact that Gazprom supposedly is the property of Miler, and not the State - this indicates their level of knowledge)

          And I also know that Medvedev is to blame for your bad life. (how one should not respect oneself in order to appoint Medvedev guilty of their failures - I’ll fade you a little)

          Miller is also to blame and Rotenberg) Stroporez. Take out the pot. Get a gang! Grudinin still talked a lot of nonsense and he doesn’t shine - so you have only one option - put pots on your smart heads and put the Kremlin on your knees wassat

          It’s funny to look at your attempts and giving each other pluses.

          Then you select Grudinin as the president of the forum of VO, Gardamir and Svarog - and I will leave here in opposition
          1. Sling cutter
            Sling cutter 11 February 2018 15: 42
            +4
            Quote: allaykbar
            This is said by non-villagers like you. that you drag the government into your ridiculous taxes.

            Yeah, only witnesses to the Mayukaz sect are pure and pure, to the extent that they even multiply quickly and unnaturally from the television.
            1. allaykbar
              allaykbar 11 February 2018 15: 44
              +3
              sling cutter. Yes. I was struck by the rays of Kremlin propaganda. my pupils rotate clockwise and I'm waiting for new directives to make fun of sternum and stubborn
              of course, this is the whole point.
              1. Lexus
                Lexus 11 February 2018 19: 45
                +1
                I'm waiting for new directives to make fun of sternum and stubborn

                Grudinina, why did he "stick" to his company?
              2. Sofa General
                Sofa General 11 February 2018 22: 31
                +2
                you put a hat on the head from the foil ... you look at the propaganda and won’t take it ...
  10. Icarus
    Icarus 11 February 2018 15: 40
    +1
    All oligarchs not included in the sanctions list are monitored. Three tried to leave the country on forged documents. All three are detained, already give confession, express sincere repentance and are ready to turn their knowledge and capital to the good of the Motherland
    . Unfortunately, the joke here failed, because it does not coincide with reality in any part. Chubais (Nabiullina et al.) Not only did not try to leave the country or was not taken into custody, but was not even removed from the post of head of the state corporation.
  11. Dashing
    Dashing 11 February 2018 16: 38
    +1
    The author, and I twice KU!
  12. General70
    General70 11 February 2018 19: 30
    0
    Especially neighing after that - Then Vladimir Vladimirovich, - Bastrykin put a leaf on the president’s table, - the director of the foreign intelligence service is applying for the reward of the agent "Red".
    “True,” Putin took the pen and signed the presentation with a flourish, “indeed, if not for his sanctions list ...” lol lol lol
  13. NF68
    NF68 11 February 2018 21: 55
    0
    + + + + + + + + + +