Feuilleton on the stability of the purity of American sports

At Mr. Woo’s pharmacy in Seattle, there was a small lineup. “We occupied yesterday,” two dark-skinned strong-looking guys burst into the room with their faces decorated. Repulsing the old woman Maggie Donahoe, who usually bought sleeping pills here, the guys started to squeeze to the window, incidentally scraping adhering snow from low shoes on high heels on an advertising sign.

Having unbuttoned a warm short coat with the inscription “USA Tennis Team”, one of the guys allowed the visitors, together with Mrs. Donahue, who was stumbling from the blow of a strong shoulder under the table, to discover his chest. "Is your third or fourth?" to myself.

"BUT. It’s you, girls ... Come on ..! ”- Mr. Wu didn’t have time to finish the phrase, when a piece of paper appeared in his face, written in small handwriting.

"Do not pull the rubber, bespectacled, come on, what is written," the second guy said, picking a match in his teeth.

“Just a second, Serena! This second, Venus! ”- the pharmacist exclaimed and, turning over his lips, threw to the shelf with the red inscription“ Caution! Potent. Prescription only.

The guys who were not really guys (at least, baker Mark, who knows the differences between people by secondary sexual characteristics, still doubted the uniqueness of the gender of visitors), loudly cursed Mr. Wu, saying that he was slower than a sleepy fly.

“Hey, clown, give us our wheels faster, what the doctor prescribed,” alternating words with local idiomatic expressions, Serena said. Someone in the scattered queue thought that the lady had added a politically incorrect "narrow-eyed" woman. But all visitors decided exactly what it seemed ...

“What are you, chmoshnik, you want to lose your business? Do not you see that we are sick, and in fact we should not miss a workout. The day after tomorrow, the match with this, mired in dope, Sharapova. Let's hope that she will be removed for life, ”Venus said.

Mr. Wu took out two packages with the inscription “Hydrocortisone” from the cabinet and began to stretch the stars of the cleanest tennis in the world. Serena, grabbing them from the hands of the pharmacist, opened one of the packages and threw several pills into her wide mouth with a quick movement. “Give me some water,” snatched up a bottle of cola at Mark's baker, said the pride of the American pure sport in a low voice, burping loudly a moment later.

Venus, in the meantime, putting her hand through the window, took the Chinese pharmacist behind the barrel and spoke in such a way that she could be heard all over Pioneer Square, even with the entrance door closed:
“Take it all out, Chinese commie! Where are my prednisone and formoterol ?! You now have a portrait, how it is there, Mao ... uh-uh, “Zedong,” Mr. Wu prompted after a dangling pause, “He himself,” agreed Venus, .

Feuilleton on the stability of the purity of American sports

Williams sisters left the pharmacy room. Mrs Donahue, gathering what was left of her glasses in a wrinkled hand and, with the help of the baker, Mark, getting out from under the table, said: “And yet it’s good that our sport is clean. Not that these Russians have. ”

“It's hard to argue with that, ma'am. I can't imagine why this IOC still continues to make a fuss with the Russians after all these reports about scratched test tubes and tons of illicit drugs that are used in Russia since school, ”added Mark.

Mr. Wu, dozing the portrait of Mao Zedong, who, having pulled out of his breast pocket, placed Aus in the mouth of the pharmacist Venus, remarked:
“I always support these girls in tournaments. After all, they are so painful. Tomorrow I will tell my wife to let him warm up goat's milk - maybe, at least, this will strengthen their immunity in such frosty weather. God bless them, as well as all America. ”

Feeling deeply, Mr. Wu rang the radio and ordered a performance of the American anthem in honor of the future victories of the pure American sport.

Listening to the anthem at the other end of America - in Miami - four-time Olympic and ten-time world champion in gymnastics Simona Biles, with tears of affection on her eyes, caught up with a double burger with mayonnaise 8 tablets of methylphenidate, which helps her cope with attention-deficit syndrome.

The doctor of the USA national gymnastics team, who was standing next to Simon, showed a two-tailed green dog flying over their heads at that moment. Simone friendly waved her hand: "Hello, dog!"

Somewhere in the joy of the terrible system revealed the use of doping by Russian athletes quietly went to sleep, Grisha Rodchenkov. "Hello, dog!" - Grisha was heard through the first color dream ...
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  1. +7
    November 28, 2017
    quietly went to sleep Grisha Rodchenkov.

    ... this grisha would be sent to another dream, eternal ... he deserved it by right .... angry
    1. +6
      November 28, 2017
      Quote: aszzz888
      this grisha would be sent to another dream, eternal ... he deserved it by right ....

      Not in vain .... Otherwise, an "anti-doping" ice ax would have been attributed to him for a long time ... Yes, he will not be a "pawn", they will put others into action.
      And it’s “sinful to laugh” at VERY, well, JUST EXTREMELY sick American athletes and already God has punished them, they are no longer people ... but walking pharmacies
      1. +25
        November 28, 2017
        so, more clearly ... Simon, as if a member hides ... laughing
        1. +9
          November 28, 2017
          And maybe not one, mutation, you know ...
          1. +4
            November 28, 2017
            I am terrified of the figure of Simone Biles (USA)! Is it true that one of the straight men is seduced by her as a woman ?! belay
            Simon Biles cannot be attributed to the sportswoman-natural woman in female sports — with her figure (!)!No. Hormones puffed it both on the face, neck, and throughout the body.
            1. +13
              November 28, 2017
              Tatyana Today, 13:36 ↑
              I am terrified of the figure of Simone Biles (USA)! Is it true that one of the straight men is seduced by her as a woman ?! belay
              Tatyana, hi love With all due respect, in Russia there is not so much vodka to be tempted. No, well, of course there are all sorts of perverts for grandmothers, infants, animals and others, maybe one of them will be tempted, but of normal men I think it’s unlikely. Another question, but does she need it? This pumped-up American broiler just does business, in other words, cuts loot. Again, this loot will help her in the future, when the state of health makes itself felt, a big question. However, she herself chose her fate and if she is bent, after five to ten years from her steroids, then this will be a natural result, which I wish for.
              1. +2
                November 28, 2017
                in Russia from normal men I think hardly.

                I'm talking about the USA
                Another question, but does she need it?
                Of course you need !!! Like these transgender people!
                1. The comment was deleted.
              2. +1
                November 28, 2017
                Quote: Varyag_0711
                if it is bent, in five to ten years from its steroids

                I think it will be sooner. two or three years, then it will be impossible to get out of hospitals ...
            2. 0
              November 29, 2017
              Quote: Tatiana
              I am terrified of the figure of Simone Biles (USA)! Is it true that one of the straight men is seduced by her as a woman ?!

              Someone accrues her points. There is subjective refereeing.
        2. +8
          November 28, 2017
          Biles' body is severely deformed, the top and bottom are disproportionate.
          One sister Williams says the other:
          -Listen, after these new pills, my hair began to grow in unexpected places.
          -On the chest or what?
          -No, on the eggs !!
        3. +6
          November 28, 2017
          Quote: Dead Day
          Simon, as if a member hides ...
          "The US women's gymnastics team appealed to WADA with a request to allow them to use methylphenidate, as the erection weakened from the increased attention deficit disorder"
        4. +1
          November 29, 2017
          Our beautiful, but THIS !!! PPC
      2. +14
        November 28, 2017
        Quote: svp67
        And it’s “sinful to laugh” at VERY, well, JUST EXTREMELY sick American athletes and already God has punished them, they are no longer people ... but walking pharmacies

        It’s a sin to laugh and confuse the totalitarian Russian meldonium - with a democratic and legal use of methylphenidate from attention deficit disorder! Yes It’s immediately obvious where the sick and suffering, and where the Russian melodious pitching:

        PS And it's high time the WADA inspectors deal with the use of doping at the ancient Olympic Games in ancient Greece! good I think that the time has come to deprive the Olympic medals of drug addicts from the national teams of Athens and Sparta, because all (kept in museums) the cups from which they drank have scratches! Yes And in the first place in the medal standings conscientiously put the teams: USA, Canada, Britain and other white people ... laughing laughing laughing
        1. +1
          November 29, 2017
          But ours is not fed?
    2. +1
      November 28, 2017
      Yeah, drive him in ... oh, in democracy, an elephant dose of dope and fly, "honest")))
    3. 0
      November 30, 2017
      Quote: aszzz888
      quietly went to sleep Grisha Rodchenkov.

      ... this grisha would be sent to another dream, eternal ... he deserved it by right .... angry

      This Grisha will die, they will find another. It's not about Grisha, it's about our sports bureaucrats, about these insignificant Mutko. Their miserable bleating speaks of one thing - they are pin-fed pin dosas definitely.
  2. +6
    November 28, 2017
    An anecdote, this is the silence of our minister, as it were, with a spont, to false and unsubstantiated accusations, to the illegal selection of medals and won places from the country and athletes, to worship VADYA, the absence of a harsh reaction to the near-sports arbitrariness against Russia and its athletes.
    1. +7
      November 28, 2017
      Quote: Herkulesich
      Anecdote, this is the silence of our minister, as it were, spontaneously, on false and unproven accusations
  3. +3
    November 28, 2017
    Catch this Grisha, and talk "thoughtfully" ... A lot of interesting things could be learned. A complex multi-pass operation took place against Russian sports ... Rodchenkov is a small sliver in this operation ...
    1. +8
      November 28, 2017
      But first you need to "catch" those who ruined the criminal case UFSKN No. 672536 in February 2011
      According to the investigation, an organized criminal group on doping trade was operating in Moscow, headed by the head of the Russian Anti-Doping Center, Grigory Rodchenkov. All technical work on the sale of illicit substances was carried out by his sister Marina, a former three-time world champion in athletics. At the same time, using his connections, Rodchenkov guaranteed that athletes who bought doping from his family would have clean samples.
  4. +2
    November 28, 2017
    By the number of patients who are prescribed prescriptions with illegal drugs, American athletes come first. Honor and praise to US athletes who, being seriously ill, win medals
    1. +5
      November 28, 2017
      Big sport ... this is the same war ... only by other means ... but in war all means are good. Question ... that ours did not know what the therapeutic exception is? The same Norwegians have been suffering from asthma for decades ... We must either revive amateur sports ... hold amateur competitions ... or ... play by the rules that are now taking shape in the sports world ... And Rodchenko ... Why is he up to still not put on the international wanted list ... As a felon ...
  5. +1
    November 28, 2017
    The author is not afraid to repeat the fate of Shamil Tarpishchev !!!

    The President of the Russian Tennis Federation is not allowed to participate in any competition sponsored by the WTA after he named Venus and Serena Williams “Williams brothers” on a Russian television talk show.

    In a statement made on Friday, WTA President Stacy Allaster said that Tarpischev would also be fined $ 25, which is the maximum possible fine under the WTA rules, and that the organization will try to deprive him of his right to chair the Kremlin Cup for one year.

    Allaster said his remarks were “offensive and totally unacceptable to modern sports,” and that he should apologize to the Williams sisters.

    “The statement of Mr. Tarpishchev, who questioned their gender, casts a shadow on our sport and two champions. His humiliating remarks are damning and he will be punished, ”said Allaster.
    President and Chairman of the US Tennis Association Dave Haggerty also called on Tarpishchev to make an official apology to the sisters.

    “Mr. Tarpishchev must be extremely honest and decent,” Haggerty said in a statement. “Unfortunately, his comments embody these features, and are worthy of condemnation.”
    1. +5
      November 28, 2017
      Quote: hohol95
      The author is not afraid to repeat the fate of Shamil Tarpishchev !!!

      The author of the feuilleton "plays" in other sports .... wassat
      According to the TFR, Mr. Rodchenkov associates and after leaving for the "homeland of Democracy" had remote access to the RUSADA database ...
      At times I don’t have enough emotions on the topic “What are they doing there in Moscow?”
      1. +2
        November 28, 2017
        "What are they doing there in Moscow?"

        GOLF - Sberbank bought a golf club in Slovenia ... drinks
  6. +4
    November 28, 2017
    and here it’s not funny already. I, a peaceful person, want to kill this Rodchenkov, and it’s painful!
  7. +4
    November 28, 2017
    It is strange that the IOC indiscriminately takes back medals from Russian athletes retroactively. It is strange why the Russian leadership is silent. Apparently "not amenable to provocations" as is the case with the extraction of diplomatic property. It is strange that medals are massively taken from the host country of the Games, and this is certainly a political issue and not “doping” or any other. Moreover, taking away medals from “pure” athletes of the IOC itself violates the Olympic Charter. The weaning of medals is accompanied by mantras about the “state” or “systematic” support of the “doping program” by state structures, but it’s not Putin who is punished, but specific athletes. In general, this is not the level of dumb-bobbing.
    Twitter already believes that it is necessary to leave the IOC or at least stop payments. Because in this form, the IOC devalues ​​itself. This situation threatens all athletes. Test tube scratches can be presented to any athlete.
    1. +2
      November 28, 2017
      Quote: Altona
      Because in this form, the IOC devalues ​​itself. This situation threatens all athletes. Test tube scratches can be presented to any athlete.

      True athletes express their opinion ....
      Others, gloating, try on the "freshly acquired" medals of the Sochi Olympics.
      And the head of USADA broadcasts this way without hesitation, they say no evidence is needed. IOC committee decisions are more than enough.
  8. +1
    November 28, 2017
    we can rustle as long as we like, but did one of the upper echelons say that we did not recognize the decisions of the Mok, based not on facts, but on speculation? and relatives, so it’s clear that Judas, only it must be proved in court.
  9. +2
    November 28, 2017
    Great feuilleton! I have long said about the Williams brothers that they are pumped up to the very top with hormones with doping, they just have it better built, I mean sports medicine and the legalization of analogues "prohibition"
  10. +2
    November 28, 2017
    "Hello dog!" - heard Grisha)) tin ....
  11. Urs
    November 28, 2017
    Yes bullshit all this.
    We all here know perfectly well how we treated doping before and now.
    And all this stench in the direction of our professional sport will be until McLaren is better known than Mutko.
    Ask who is Mutko yes x .... he knows, but Maclaren here everyone knows what and when he wrote how he told us.
    But no one knows the person who is OBLIGED to protect and cherish our athletes and raise our sport on a pedestal, because we don’t have such a person and we don’t have a clear and well-thought-out policy of developing and supporting sports.
    There is only a group of officials who thinks only about how to "correctly" distribute and master the issued millions from the state treasury.
    This is the opinion of a simple layman, there is no work or is not visible. Where are the high-profile articles of refutation, where the high-profile statements about filing a lawsuit for defamation (namely, that is what is called without evidence) are ultimately where there is generally reporting on the work of sports mines
  12. 0
    November 28, 2017
    Russian woman won the Junior Eurovision Song Contest. Has anyone already demanded a dope check?
  13. 0
    November 29, 2017
    "quietly retreated Grisha Rodchenkov." In Russian, it is very important to accurately determine the main thing in the sentence.
  14. 0
    December 2 2017
    Yes they are funny
  15. 0
    December 3 2017
    Feuilleton should be written about how Russia was banned in the Olympic movement. If the athletes of the Russian Federation are allowed to perform under the “neutral flag”, then the Russian Federation as a state begins to irreversibly disappear from the current information space.

"Right Sector" (banned in Russia), "Ukrainian Insurgent Army" (UPA) (banned in Russia), ISIS (banned in Russia), "Jabhat Fatah al-Sham" formerly "Jabhat al-Nusra" (banned in Russia) , Taliban (banned in Russia), Al-Qaeda (banned in Russia), Anti-Corruption Foundation (banned in Russia), Navalny Headquarters (banned in Russia), Facebook (banned in Russia), Instagram (banned in Russia), Meta (banned in Russia), Misanthropic Division (banned in Russia), Azov (banned in Russia), Muslim Brotherhood (banned in Russia), Aum Shinrikyo (banned in Russia), AUE (banned in Russia), UNA-UNSO (banned in Russia), Mejlis of the Crimean Tatar People (banned in Russia), Legion “Freedom of Russia” (armed formation, recognized as terrorist in the Russian Federation and banned)

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