Military Review

Hedgehog in the fog. Postmaid version

35
Before Maidan, the Hedgehog lived in a spacious public square of an ordinary Galich megalopolis, bordering the forest. A three-chamber, high-quality mink completely provided comfort, and a small own business allowed us to maintain well-being afloat.


Hedgehog in the fog. Postmaid version


The hedgehog is quite regularly and not at all costly for the squirrels to squeeze mushrooms, nuts and donations of vagrants from the local boundless chipmunks squeezed by exorbitant labor. No one attempted on his mink, as the Hedgehog possessed an exceptionally prickly disposition and a reliable roof in the person of the Bear, nicknamed “Brown”, who was watching the surrounding forest.

But for some time, suddenly something went wrong ... After the explosion of a firecracker and several tires that had burnt over the mink, the Hedgehog, however, was illegal as well, but fortunately the bear cub was not completely killed by the fire, they had to urgently move into the thicket of the forest to the swamp. In principle, like other animals and other non-patriotic evil.

Other fairy-tale characters in the face of Serpent Kirdynich, Koshchei the Immortal, Kota Bayun and Kikimora, wearing embroidered shirts, under the strict guidance of those who left their caches in time for the people who had left their caches, genocide with everything that moves, regardless of services to the Fatherland, gender, age, and age. and political views ...

All squirrels en masse forcibly conscripted into the civil service. Those with a white sheen were handed over directly to the Tsar. Business Hedgehog collapsed ...

Hedgehog found a new home under the roots of a rotten tree on the very edge of the swamp.
Having somehow wintered in a dugout with the same destitute Owl, which the Hedgehog had stupidly warmed into the frosty January evenings out of pity and not having a clue how to get rid of it culturally now, he suddenly thought that it would be nice to visit his old friend - Bear. .. With the end of winter, Buryom didn’t care, in any way, it was time to go out of hibernation ... Let the spring be late. Sighing heavily and taking with him a can of raspberry tincture, the Hedgehog bravely entered the hoarfrost last year's grass ...

Bear lived on the other side of the freezing swamp. He was sheltered by separatist badgers who did not recognize the power of the beavers. The hedgehog was walking on the frozen grass of last year's grass, crippling the paws in the blood. And, believe me, the paws at that moment were less disturbed by his excited consciousness ...

- Yeah! - from time to time a pregnant Owl tried to urge him to honesty from somewhere above.

- No time! - the Hedgehog tiredly waved away, sincerely hoping that the weather today is still non-flying ...

The first person he met in the silent forest was a defile like on the catwalk, the truckers' star Little Red Riding Hopelessly scattering her hips, carrying a transfer to her beloved grandmother, a klofeline girl, in the district SIZO. Behind her, a Gray Wolf, a modestly quiet, pedophile, walks with a quiet stalk.

- Shalom, tramps! - smiling heartily, he yelled in greeting

- Glory to Ukraine! - the girl responded enthusiastically ...

- Tccccc ... Scare the Game !! - Wolf growled softly ...

- Yeah ... - again from somewhere above, again offended Owl shouted ...

Having run a little more, the Hedgehog stumbled upon Papa Carlo's closet and, tempted by the mysterious fussing and incomprehensible sobs heard from there, peered through the window. There, Papa Carlo against the backdrop of a fabulous fireplace, completely forgetting about the magical log, planed with Giuseppe Pinocchio. At the grave of the untimely perished in an unequal fight with Pierrot's badgers, chilly at Artamon's coat, sad Malvina sat on a suitcase with EU stickers, not paying attention at all to the pimp Carabas, hurrying her to go to the highway.

- Yeah ... - again somewhere above the owl was angry ....

"So that you die!" - Yozh sincerely wished in his heart and, having greeted Duremar, who had eaten turtle soup, ran on ...

Running along the edge of the marsh past the crazy woodpecker constantly knocking on everyone, the Hedgehog suddenly remembered that once, from time to time, he used a thick fog to invite this or that lost horse to the edge of the cliff - a dead horse in the ravine, keeps life for at least a hundred hedgehogs .. With genuine sadness sighing for "nostalgia", he rushed on.

Bursting into the possession of Baba Yaga, Yozh was almost stunned. After all, Baba Yaga is always against!

From Grandma's stories about how the trees broke off the legs of her cottages on the barbecue, and the Muscovites were going to roll out the logs, the roof again moved from the Hedgehog, and he ran on ... The idea of ​​how to meet him was clumsy. Departing from hibernation, he was extremely aggressive. I remembered the local huntsman Kuzmich, who had been careless last spring to inadvertently disturb Bear Cub. Kuzmich was a merry fellow and was very fond of the then not crazy woodpecker, who happened to be a witness to that massacre.

Running up to the far end of the swamp, the Hedgehog quite unexpectedly fell into the cauldron. Literally.

Suddenly, nowhere who took the badgers poured it with salt and enthusiastically began to chop the dill ...

Having included all his diplomatic abilities, the Hedgehog, having passed the exact location of Baba Yaga's uneaten hut, a specific route to such and such grandmother Red Riding Hood and the coordinates of the ravine, where a dead horse periodically lies, received an amnesty and ran on.

- Yeah! - the offended Owl howled after.

Running past the huge fish and old oak that had been nailed to the pier, Kuzmich's torn-off legs stuck out of the hollow of which since last spring, the Hedgehog realized that he was almost there. Until the new lair of Brown is still a little bit .... But suddenly he stumbled over the wire of a well-spaced stretch and fell into something soft, sticky and wool ...

"Bear!" - He realized, feeling his paws empty eye sockets to the pain of a familiar skull, while simultaneously hearing the death stumble over his head "Quack!" who has fallen for bitches Owls ...

"Still, there is justice in the world ..." - smiling, the Hedgehog managed to think before the thundering explosion ...
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  1. 210ox
    210ox 14 November 2017 05: 46 New
    +4
    It’s a sad fairy tale .. I remembered the school essay "Izzy" reminded me .. In short, this prickly one did nothing all summer, he tumbled and messed around. In the fall, he climbed into his hollow and .. ZDOG .. There are three mistakes in every word. I can’t fully convey .What kind of country are those and hedgehogs ... hi
    1. Vladimir Batkovich
      14 November 2017 07: 36 New
      +2
      The fun part about jugglers is this:

      Based on UkroSMI and the domestic liberal press ...

      - Hello, Lyova! Why are you so cracked up? They’ll clean them up, bastards ... So what, that the reindeer moss on the market has risen in price ... Well, think, the neighbors ate their old woman ... If you saw something, then be quiet. Are you Kashchei the Immortal? Or do you have two heads?
      Why bother? I have a case for you. Urgent When will the satraps rest on your quarry? How to get free, throw a pick and go to the ravine. Remember where we last week with three runaway Yakuts a dead horse was eating? We’ll spoil baked hedgehogs, wipers with a bahn on a scale (I otarovarit coupons to him yesterday), but let's talk about our mournful affairs ... In short, the mood is not childish ... I have a reason today. Shy ...
      The other day I got a job at a Putin mine with a wheelbarrow operator. To the mine where Shoigu himself recently cleaned up, remember? So, there, after the last shootings, some vacancies have formed ... Count up, lucky! Now I will receive cereal rations. And on Sundays even on the bank sprats promise! I’ll be a reptile, I’m not lying! At least some stability. I began to collect cones and reindeer moss in the taiga, and even the hedgehog population of the Russian people is already almost at the root of istr *** l. And what are people thinking about? What then will they eat?
      But the Yakuts, Leva, are no longer there ... The chairman of the NKVD officers passed two. As soon as they were tied, they were immediately sentenced by the “court of three” to the village council ... They were hanged, sick, from the procurement office. On the Christmas trees. And the third in the swamps ran right on the curfew. He was shot at the commandant’s office. Like a Chinese spy. Yes, it’s understandable ... For more than a year, he didn’t have a residence permit .. At the same time, we will remember the poor fellow
      You only crawl to the ravine on the north side, otherwise you can run into the Buryat diving-armored cavalry from the south. From the east, by the lake, patrols of mountain-arrow Tuvan submariners and Chukchi sniper shamans guarded the governor's oil rig. Animals. Shoot without warning. And, for God's sake, be careful ... I still need you alive - the "ice-free" is waiting and the hedgehogs have completely cooled down ... You’re in a hurry ... Respect the old man ... Maybe we'll see you one last time, brother .. Lord, how terrible it has become to live in Mother Russia! ...
      1. Lined up smashing
        Lined up smashing 14 November 2017 12: 46 New
        +2
        Come on, you’re examining Ukraine with a microscope ...
        Look at Russia, horrified ...
        https://news.mail.ru/economics/31615588/
        1. 79807420129
          79807420129 14 November 2017 16: 15 New
          +9
          Quote: Shot smitten
          Look at Russia, horrified ..

          Yes yes, already horrified laughing Even in a nickname I managed to make a mistake. Straaaashno already horror. laughing
        2. Elena Zakharova
          Elena Zakharova 19 November 2017 20: 56 New
          +2
          Quote: Shot smitten
          Look at Russia, horrified ...

          I looked at the link, and what you saw there is so terrible that you came to uzhOss ???
          Well, one office desk, now they’ll sort it out and put things in order.
          And how are you, everything is rolling into the abyss?
    2. Buffet
      Buffet 14 November 2017 22: 10 New
      0
      I feel sorry for the Owl. Her then for what?
      1. intuzazist
        intuzazist 17 November 2017 11: 25 New
        0
        Nothing to guess ..............
  2. shinobi
    shinobi 14 November 2017 06: 04 New
    +9
    Even I didn’t understand half the metaphors. I don’t know something, or the author went over with hints.
    1. andrewkor
      andrewkor 14 November 2017 06: 16 New
      +3
      And you take on the chest 0,5, maybe help?
      1. Mordvin 3
        Mordvin 3 14 November 2017 06: 54 New
        17
        A hedgehog came out of the fog,
        He took the knife out of his pocket,
        I got vodka, sausage,
        Good in the native forest!
        I drank half a glass of vodka,
        I ate it all with fat,
        Quietly dragged on a song
        About unfulfilled cried ...
        I looked into an empty glass
        And went back into the fog ... laughing drinks
        1. Svarog51
          Svarog51 15 November 2017 04: 56 New
          +5
          Volodya I welcome hi drinks What a beautiful poetic syllable. good laughing
    2. BecmepH
      BecmepH 14 November 2017 06: 48 New
      +4
      Quote: shinobi
      Even I didn’t understand half the metaphors. I don’t know something, or the author went over with hints.

      Simple
      the author went over
  3. domokl
    domokl 14 November 2017 06: 42 New
    +8
    Something I am stupid since morning ... Although I woke up long ago ... What was that? I love allegories, but not to the same degree
    1. antivirus
      antivirus 14 November 2017 14: 02 New
      0
      there was a song of degrees.
  4. inkass_98
    inkass_98 14 November 2017 06: 48 New
    +3
    It’s harsh and somehow gloomy. Are there any positive characters in the tale? And then there was one apolitical Owl, and even that perished by chance.
    1. Cat Marquis
      Cat Marquis 14 November 2017 07: 18 New
      +7
      Something reminiscent of Zadornovskaya "Red Pashechka", no? But Zadornov was funny, but here ... the dude seems to have described his "arrival" ...., the "cant" seems to be good .... you see how it turned out ...
      1. inkass_98
        inkass_98 14 November 2017 07: 27 New
        +2
        Yes, performed by Arkanov "Red Pashechka" was enchanting.
        But something is missing here, “the motor was very similar to the real one, but it didn’t work” ©.
  5. Cat Marquis
    Cat Marquis 14 November 2017 06: 51 New
    12
    In Ukraine, it seems completely lost, not only in the "fog", but also in space and time. Yesterday I wrote that I got such an article here: https://www.work.ua/articles/jobseeker/759/
    Ukrainians are in it, now they are invited to work in Germany. I drew attention to the fact that the style is fully consistent with the style of such "invitations" on the walls of fascist commandant's offices during the Second World War. But most of all the "killed" comments under the article. There, one dude cited, for comparison, a fascist similar "invitation" from the Second World War. But the reaction to him among the Kaklov was not what he expected. Instead of “indignation” or “rejection,” the foolish fools really “seduced” him - they ask how to find a “commandant's office” where you can make an appointment with the “brigadenfuhrer” ..... and quite seriously, without jokes. Read for yourself on the link-ofigee ...

  6. Cxnumx
    Cxnumx 14 November 2017 06: 55 New
    +6
    what game did i read now? probably too ... down to earth for such allegories.
    1. gm9019
      gm9019 14 November 2017 20: 01 New
      +3
      Just before this, I watched this "masterpiece" - the level is absolutely the same as that of this publication - somewhere in the area of ​​the baseboard ... what Brrrrrrrr .....
      I apologize for the bad words in the video, but it is technically not possible to remove them.

  7. Herculesic
    Herculesic 14 November 2017 07: 11 New
    +1
    He put a well-deserved + plus for the sense of humor of the author! !!!!!! hi good drinks
  8. avia12005
    avia12005 14 November 2017 07: 14 New
    +5
    The ending is missing. "And over the forest, proudly reigned of the yellow-blooded transship prapor. Badgers hoarsely drunken voices inadequately pulled" Ukraine has not yet died. "
    1. Lelek
      Lelek 14 November 2017 13: 50 New
      +1
      Quote: avia12005
      Badgers in hoarse, drunken voices unsteadily pulled "Ukraine has not yet died."


      And the "Chernivtsi" slender orders went to Romania.
  9. parusnik
    parusnik 14 November 2017 08: 10 New
    +1
    Aesop and Lafontaine wrote easier ....
    1. creak
      creak 14 November 2017 13: 15 New
      +5
      Quote: parusnik
      Aesop and Lafontaine wrote easier ....

      Well, you compared - to write easier, talent is needed ...
  10. eugraphus
    eugraphus 14 November 2017 11: 22 New
    +3
    Some crap
  11. Sige
    Sige 14 November 2017 16: 24 New
    +4
    Tarakashi has more optimistic tales.
  12. Razvedka_Boem
    Razvedka_Boem 14 November 2017 18: 12 New
    0
    Tin .. Author, move.
    The second option - if they beat one cheek, then the second does not need to be substituted.
  13. Ivan58
    Ivan58 14 November 2017 20: 53 New
    +3
    You need to drink either more or less. More so that there was no strength to scoop up ravings, but less. for brains to work.
  14. polpot
    polpot 14 November 2017 21: 56 New
    0
    Do not offend the Hedgehogs There alone Rams led by Rats
  15. The leader of the Redskins
    The leader of the Redskins 14 November 2017 23: 17 New
    +2
    Delirium is not funny. Gentlemen moderators, pay attention to the quality of the material published on the VO ....
  16. domnich
    domnich 14 November 2017 23: 26 New
    +5
    Today, 05: 34

    Instead of tea early in the morning
    I drank two glasses of vodka.
    This is what diffused
    From the Basseynaya Street!
    1. Svarog51
      Svarog51 15 November 2017 05: 05 New
      +5
      Sergei hi Originally, I have not heard such an option. good lol drinks
  17. gladcu2
    gladcu2 15 November 2017 02: 33 New
    0
    What can I say ...

    Written politically competently ...
  18. kot28.ru
    kot28.ru 17 November 2017 15: 11 New
    +1
    am Mat no good recourse
    That one ... eta wassat
    At the end, do not wait, tolerasts
    Take it to the grave with us! am