And I thought. I thought a few days about whether I can (want) to write the same about Ukraine, in which I live almost my entire adult life? I never thought of that before.
But she loved, for sure. My grandmothers were born and lived here. When we came in the summer to one of them in Dolgintsevo (Kryvyi Rih), I was saturated with the sun, heat and cherries. Cherries were many. We ate them directly from the trees, sculpted vareniki, fried pies - large, with palm, drank tea in the evenings under the main cherry at the house. Under this cherry there were unhurried conversations about life. Grandmothers spoke a sweet mixture of Russian and Ukrainian, and everything was simple and clear. Then one of them - the singing woman Dora (Daria) began to sleep. She was invited to all the weddings because of her voice and cheerful character. I still remember all her songs.
Surely: “I marvel at the sky, that Dumka wonders ...” - and “r” was correct, southern, between “r” and “x”.
Oh pid cherry, pid cherry, standing old with the young ... Ihali Cossacks kind of Don to the house, pidmanuli Galya, taken away with them ...
There were an incredible amount of songs. Then memories began. Baba Galya told about the war, the evacuation of Yaroslavl with two young children, about the very large Volga, through which the train was going slowly, and the German shells lay in water on both sides. I still see this picture ...
Baba Dora talked about life under the Germans who occupied Dolgintsevo. Told reluctantly. “And then ours came!” - this was pronounced with a completely different intonation.
In the attic were kept two bandura. I got one, walked around the garden in a beautiful grandmother's dress, strummed and slept. Above me stretched a bottomless and blue (such does not happen) Ukrainian sky.
Then I would probably be able to write that I love Ukraine. And later I could. Over the sky and the endless fields of wheat. For good and gentle people. A little later, when I worked as a journalist and shook all over the region, I would add - for hard work, non-greediness - after all, they fed the film crew in each village to satiety. Once ate 18 cherry pies! Then, a little later, when I made programs about dockers, workers, I rented all the factories with which Odessa, Yanvarka, ZOR, Precision Machines, Stroyhydraulics, shipyards, ports - Odessa, Ilyichevsky, Yuzhnensky, Izmail - was so rich at that time. already knew that Ukraine in terms of the level of industrial development occupies a place in the world 9. In the world!!! And I knew many of the best and most famous dockers and workers and was proud of their friendship with them.
And universities! And science! And the Filatov Institute is unique and the only one in the world where now there is no money for the salary of employees. And the City, which is definitely not equal.
And now there is nothing to write. Because, firstly, it is very embarrassing. For all. For the fact that skillfully divided the people and he was seduced. For the fact that a huge number of innocent civilians and children were killed. For shooting at schools. For the fact that people in the "gray zone" live without light, water and food for three years. Because my city is divided into two parts (like other cities, and the whole country) just because it was not the statesmen who came to power, but greedy oligarchs, for whom everything is not enough. And they came up with ways to find the easiest way to divide and create hatred: this is nationality and language. The most simple and primitive strings for which you can constantly pull and the crowd will lead.
It is a shame for the “achievements” that are not there, but all the pro-governmental media shout about them (there are practically no others, others have been silenced). No industry. For example, in the city there is not a single working large industrial enterprise. Only food and manufactured goods markets work. Purchase – sale. How embarrassing it was to watch a video in which, with reverent trembling, the head of state presses the bunches of American coal to his chest ... It is a shame that he is begging around the world in search of money.
It is a shame to listen to ministers who claim that longevity is the personal problem of the poor "retirees", or that Ukrainians spend too much money, unlike Europeans, for food — so they lack anything else.
It is a shame that the people stopped going to hospitals - not because all of a sudden they recovered, but because there is no money for treatment.
It is a shame for diphtheria, which appeared in Kiev. For the lack of the most necessary vaccines and drugs. It is a shame for the Middle Ages, in which we were all plunged. For the fact that the country - once big and beautiful - has no future. For the fact that people are leaving en masse or are just as massively dying.
It is a shame for their powerlessness and the inability to resist these insolent and fatty hares that have saddled power.
The grandmother in the house opposite receives a pension in 1. 373 hryvnia, and the state is impatiently waiting for these grandmothers to disappear. And the head of Naftogaz receives a month more than 1 million hryvnia, "Ukrzaliznytsya" - about 500 thousand, "Ukrpochta" - about 400 thousand. A member of the Supreme Council of Justice - about 600 thousand hryvnia. The speaker of parliament is 43 thousand hryvnia, the deputy chairman of the Verkhovna Rada is 40 thousand hryvnia. Well, and so on ...
It is a shame for the adopted law on education, which excluded the Russian language from education and gradually replacing it, and with it all Russian culture and us from life. It is a shame and very scary to live today in this territory. Therefore, I will write this:
"Ukraine. It hurts a lot, but now I don't love you. Because you do not love me and all other citizens, from young to old. Even the ATOs that you turned into cannon fodder. For the fact that you do not care about us, but only help to fill the bottomless pockets of your current rulers. Do not care, do not love, do not help, do not protect.
On the other hand, I feel sorry for you - a once strong and independent country with a beautiful and singing people. I, like most, cannot leave, because there is simply no money to start a new life in a foreign country.
On the third hand, I begin to think about who is more guilty - the people or the country in what happened to you. And I understand that most likely not even the people, he will go where he will be led, but the leaders whom he irresponsibly chose all these 26 years. For promises tomorrow to make life better, for buckwheat, for money ...
And I feel sorry for you, Ukraine, because you look like that stupid Galya from an old grandma's song. The mother did not obey, and the Cossacks took her away from the village. She was taken away, outraged and burned, tied to a tree by her braids ... And in her dreams everything seemed completely different to her - exactly, as it seemed to you, Ukraine, who dreamed of a rich life in the EU ”.