In Latvia, made instructions on how to recognize the spy

The Latvian Security Police has published recommendations on its website on how to recognize spies. The instruction contains instructions on how officials of Latvian state and municipal institutions should behave if they suspect that a foreign spy has come in contact with them.

RIA News provide excerpts from the document:

It is recommended to pay special attention to foreigners who behave obviously familiarly and affably, try to quickly switch to an informal style of conversation, establish contacts in social networks, try to provoke a reaction, appealing to ideological convictions. It should be wary of foreigners who ask leading questions about the situation in the country, at work, about personal finances. Employees of foreign intelligence services may try to direct the conversation to topics outside of work, continue contact in an informal setting and during non-working hours, ask for information for personal needs, and also offer assistance on work issues in exchange for services.

The security police believes that in this way foreign spies want to get secret information concerning the national interests and security of Latvia, and officials are one of the most valuable sources of such data.

Foreign spies can impersonate diplomats, state and local government officials, law enforcement officers, entrepreneurs, and journalists. If it seems that the contact with the spy has occurred, you should avoid an immediate response, do not make promises and do not undertake obligations, pay special attention to what information the foreigner wants to receive, and immediately report the suspicious contact to the security officer or the police security.

- reads the instructions

Comments

[seregatara1969]

and Shtirlitsa missed anyway!

[win]

Bormann Muller:
- Yesterday on Stirlitz a new lie detector was checked. I told him: "Your last name?"
He: "Isaev." The device is silent. Me: "Profession?" He: "Russian spy."
The device is silent again.
Muller:
- I told you, write a report ... They always send us faulty equipment !!!

[win]

Stirlitz is drinking with Müller.
Muller:
- Stirlitz, I know you are a Russian resident. Yes, we lost the war, but do you really think that glory awaits you at home? You will be shot or sent to Siberia.
- I do not think so. Scout in the homeland awaits honor and respect.
- Tell me again that a former spy can rule Russia, and in Germany there will be a chancellor in a skirt. You have drunk!
Stirlitz grinned ...

[Monos]

I don’t know what other spies look like, but a Russian spy looks like this:

[enot73]

Quote: Monos

I don’t know what other spies look like, but a Russian spy looks like this:

There are different spies

[papas-57]

Where's the bottle? A bear without a bottle is no longer a spy.

[Starover_Z]

Quote: Monos

I don’t know what other spies look like, but a Russian spy looks like this:

Forgot to draw one important subject, without which the spy is not a spy!
And where is the parachute dragging on the ground behind ?!

[Manul]

Quote: Monos

I don’t know what other spies look like, but a Russian spy looks like this:

The spy should have this. Search and everything will be clear!

[Per se]

I could not resist

[Maz]

And not a word about the language. Are they all by default Latvians?

[LSA57]

Quote: seregatara1969

and Shtirlitsa missed anyway!

htoo ???? Latvians ???? Duc they did not see him in the eyes

[Jedi]

So, the old training manual that the spy walks with the camera around the General Staff building, wears a hat, dark glasses and a raincoat, from whose pocket the sticks out the bomb has already been put into the furnace in Trisubalt Baltic? Got excited ...

[The black]

Yes sho there to recognize ... our spies always go in budenki, red T-shirts with a coat of arms, and with a drunk bear, who dances under the balalaika

[Anarchist]

And a nested doll?
A spy from the Russian Federation, without a Russian doll ...

[Jedi]

Sasha, but where did you attribute this attribute?

[Anarchist]

In short, a Russian spy is simply obliged to carry all this with him in a basket ...

[Jedi]

Sasha, where is the vodka: in a samovar or a balalaika?

[Anarchist]

Under the birch in the background!
Look carefully, there Bezrukov kisses one ...

[Jedi]

We had to start with Bezrukov ...

[Baloo]

Quote: Anarchist

In short, the Russian spy is simply obliged to carry all this with him in a basket.

A Belomor with a card on the box, so as not to get lost, and a half liter of Russian or the capital to warm?

[LSA57]

Quote: Anarchist

A spy from the Russian Federation, without a Russian doll ...

Matryoshka in your pocket. he hides in her from surveillance

[Anarchist]

And the doll hides in a samovar!
Samovar in a closet, a closet in a hut, a hut in a birch grove ...
And all this is protected by the Bear!
Holding a tablet

[LSA57]

Quote: Black

Yes sho there to recognize ... our spies always go in budenki, red T-shirts with a coat of arms, and with a drunk bear, who dances under the balalaika

skiing and parachuting in the winter

[Anarchist]

Max, According to this instruction, there are only spies on IN!
Yesterday, I asked Pasha, “How are you doing in Belarus?” Thank God that he is an adequate person!
And some Latvian would suspect something was wrong ...

[Jedi]

You yourself know - Pasha is ideologically savvy and does not succumb to provocations. And the Latvian would have already responded to your question flew into their analogue of the CIA with cries of "Let me be useful?"

[LSA57]

Quote: Anarchist

And some Latvian would suspect something was wrong ...

and bam, ban for a month

[win]

The US State Department has accused Russia of racism and homophobia. Out of ten arrested
none of the Russian spies were yesterday
homosexual or african american

[win]

Now spies are taught how to speak and write correctly

[Reserve officer]

They were late with their instructions. Vladimir Semenovich long ago brought all spies to clean water. Back in the 1966 year.
"Fearing counterintelligence, avoiding secular life,
Under the English pseudonym "Mr. John Lancaster Peck,"
Forever in leather gloves so as not to make prints,
There was a non-Soviet man in the Sovetskaya Hotel.
John Lancaster alone, mostly at night,
Something clicked in what was hidden infrared lens.
And then in normal light, it appeared in black
What we value and love, what the team is proud of. "

[Jedi]

So what do you want: Tri-Baltic, everything is so close. Here, Latvians were infected from Estonia by the speed of thought ...
Z.Y. V.S. Vysotsky - respect!

[Anarchist]

There are no comments ...

[Jedi]

Some kind of parasite, no other words ...

[Anarchist]

What are you doing? This is a powerful army that opposes the aggression of Russia and Belarus ...

[Jedi]

Yes, these "opposite" so that the plowman will stand for a long time ...

[CAT BAIYUN]

Vladimir Semenovich long ago brought all spies to clean water

With all my heart PLUS
Sincere song.

[izya top]

It is recommended to pay special attention to foreigners who behave clearly familiarly and affably.

that is, it should not be friendly, but immediately bitten, and then you will not cause any suspicions

[Baloo]

Quote: izya top

that is, it should not be friendly, but immediately bitten, and then you will not cause any suspicions

Well, at least step on a foot or spit a goby under your feet, and your hands are always in your pockets, and your walk is like that of GDP

[win]

USA. Our scout sits with an agent on a bench. He says:
- Listen, I gave you the secret information! Is that me, I'm a spy ?!
Our soothes:
- No, the spy is me ... And you are just a traitor

[arane]

Everything will begin now. Interestingly, SBU surpass?

[win]

The State Duma adopted a law according to which foreign spies are required to register with the FSB within two weeks, otherwise their activities in Russia will be declared illegal.

[Baloo]

Quote: Siegen

The State Duma adopted a law according to which foreign spies are required to register with the FSB within two weeks, otherwise their activities in Russia will be declared illegal.

And taxes to pay taxes ...

[samoletil18]

Nowhere without instruction. Our briefing is everything. Now spies in Latvia know how not to behave

[win]

Inspector approaches the sentry at the weapons warehouse
Colonel:
- Last name?
- Ivanov.
- What are you guarding?
- Ammunition.
- And what are you telling me everything, all of a sudden I'm dressed up
spy.
Automatic queue. Sentinel thoughtfully:
- Look what a bastard!

[Svarog51]

Valentine, welcome Of course, I understand that this is a joke. But my colonel would have caught a bullet without having time to ask a question. UGiKS, the sentry is forbidden to talk.

[Anton Boldakov]

This is the wrong training manual. The spy is usually dressed in a "Warrior", drives with a machine gun and an armored personnel carrier on a bear and asks how to get to the nearest psychiatric hospital (as a rule he is immediately shown to the Latvian Saeima)

[win]

How to recognize a foreigner in Russia:

1. Constantly apologizes for trifling errors.
2. Does not know the name of the crocodile from the cartoon "Cheburashka" (and does not know who
such a Cheburashka).
3. Does not know who Kisa Vorobyaninov is.
4. Does not know what Sabantuy is and has never been to it.
5. Does not know that newspapers can be used as toilet paper.
6. Never calls Russia a great country.

[Teberii]

And they wear T-shirts with Putin, speak Russian and have no snack after the first.

[Baloo]

Quote: Teberii

And they wear T-shirts with Putin, speak Russian and have no snack after the first.

and after the second, and after the third and finally they don’t have a bite, and all the time they sniff something up their sleeve

[Mountain shooter]

About the parachute forgot to mention and earflaps, oh, to blame, budenovka.

[win]

budenovka

Stirlitz was walking along the street. Towards Muller.
- Heil Hitler! - said Stirlitz.
Muller fell into the ditch.
“A fanatic,” Stirlitz decided and corrected the budenovka on his head.

[win]

With great tricks, an American spy crawled into a secret
Russian research institute to a computer with secret info and wanted to drop it on a flash drive,
but it wasn’t there: there stood the 98th Windows, which did not point this flash drive at all
I saw and demanded a driver, and somehow to grab a diskette instead of a flash drive
and it never occurred to me

[stolz]

This is what happens: competition for the most moronic state? The Balts and Ukraine reached the finals, who will receive the honorary title "Morons of the Year"?

[Baloo]

Quote: Stolz

This is what happens: competition for the most moronic state? The Balts and Ukraine reached the finals, who will receive the honorary title "Morons of the Year"?

The United States will compete with Korea for first and second place, and the Tribalts and Ukraine in an honorable third.

[APASUS]

Add paranoia to Russophobia

[Baloo]

Quote: APASUS

Add paranoia to Russophobia

I know him, studied together. This is not Stirlitz, this is his grandson Vasily Isaev.

[Kerensky]

Well done Latvians! And 15 years did not pass when the instructions were translated into their great and mighty.
"Who wrote me a complaint service? Not you, but I read them!" (C) Vysotsky ..

[LeonidL]

Yes, they should add - to check whether there is a portrait of Putin on his chest and whether a parachute with a tag of the USSR GRU drags behind. ... Seriously, now the jokes come not only from ukakaini, life is becoming more fun!

[japs]

I wonder what terrible secrets can be in Latvia? The most important, probably the fact that neither they nor their territories are needed by anyone. From the word in general.

[Wedmak]

What terrible secrets can there be in Latvia?

How to catch and prepare sprats. Ours learned to catch something, but to cook ... all the time sprat is obtained.

[oldzek]

and sprat spicy salting is obtained.

[Pete mitchell]

You are, well, don’t be so loud. And then someone from the Security Police will read and be upset - life was wasted ..

[Baloo]

Quote: japs

I wonder what terrible secrets can be in Latvia?

Maybe a recipe for preparing their disgusting sprat with benzopyrene and arsenic?

[kg pv]

Not only do they have secrets, they also have national interests.

[bald]

Dull completely.

[ihnovich990]

Yes, close the entrance for citizens of the Russian Federation already, and wrapping yourself in a sheet, crawl to the cemetery. Basta.

[Relaxed]

I agree !!!!, for example, I want to go home !!!!

[Tolstoevsky]

Russian spies don't bite after the first

[Smog]

Latvian Security Police

Well, Latvians, they gave out so. I ask for one

[Pete mitchell]

Author, give a link! There are certainly a lot of cranks, but I want to see the source

[Msta]

But they got pierced, because now the spies know how they will be searched in Latvia ...

[Berkut24]

The Latvian plaintext instructions against spies can only be compared with the Ukrainian list of tank vulnerabilities carefully enclosed in each Oplot, delivered by Ukrainians to Indonesia.
Country of Degeneration!

[solzh]

You should be wary of foreigners who ask leading questions about the situation in the country, at work, about personal finances. Foreign intelligence officers may try to direct a conversation on topics outside work, continue contact in an informal setting and after hours, ask for information for personal needs, and also offer assistance on work issues in exchange for services

It turns out that my classmates and classmates living in Germany, Ukraine, Kazakhstan, they are all spies !!! From now on I will lie to them all. They will ask me how I am doing, how at work, as in the family, and I will lie to them brazenly! And then they recruit ...

[ljoha_d]

Damn revealed me !!!!!

[Baloo]

Quote: ljoha_d

Damn revealed me !!!!!

Tell them that you know Putin, if anything, answer

[cariperpaint]

sometimes it seems that the Baltic countries both froze at the end of 80 and live at that time ...

[Relaxed]

and, I, then I’m chasing dummies, why my comrade urgently called for repairs to China ......

[Relaxed]

Guys, I don’t have time for you, we drove to the "next" news ...

[anjey]

The strategic importance of Latvia is very interested in spies of the whole world - a disease megalomania ...

[Alexander Abdrakhmanov]

Latvians do not need to be recognized, they are all spies there, watching each other. It’s only difficult to recognize which of them is the best spy. In order not to be confused, it is necessary for everyone on the back to write "I am a Latvian Spy with great experience."

[uskrabut]

How how?
By the walkie-talkie behind his back and the white train of the parachute, dragging him along the asphalt.